The Brain of Shawn

The Thinks I Think

Archive for February, 2007

22, 29, and vomit

Feb 18

Posted by Shawn Powers in General Thoughts | 4 Comments

It’s been a week since I posted. That’s horrible! I’m not feeling terribly well, so this is just a quick recap of the week.

22 — On Tuesday, I had a file server crash. Yes, it was the same file server from before, so I wasn’t terribly happy about it. I worked 22 hours on the server, and got everything running by Wednesday morning.

29 — On Wednesday, after that horrible Tuesday, I had 29 kids in our youth group. That’s the most we’ve ever had, AND I had to run the evening alone!!! It was rough, but the kids were really good.

Vomit — Then, on Friday, we had an overnight deacon’s retreat. The retreat itself was great, but Saturday afternoon, I started to feel sick. I spent Saturday night sicker than I’ve ever been. I actually pulled muscles in my back from throwing up so hard. Not fun.

Anyway, I’m still alive (I wasn’t sure last night), I’ve just had a rough week. Now I’m off to take some headache medicine. Ugh.

Hockey & Bathtub Peeing

Feb 11

Posted by Shawn Powers in General Thoughts | 10 Comments

LergYesterday, a really good friend let me use his wife’s season ticket and go to a Michigan vs Michigan State hockey game with him. (Yes, his wife approved) I’d never been to a hockey game before, so I planned to write about it. In fact, while I was there I was thinking about what I would mention.

5 minutes inside the Joe Louis Arena, I knew the focus of my post would be about the bathrooms. I didn’t take a picture, because, well, it’s the bathroom. Here’s the deal: at this multi-million dollar structure, where the Red Wings play and the Ice Capades do their capading, the bathrooms are like something out of a 1982 roller rink. There are long, bathtub-like troughs into which men stand and pee. Sword fighting not withstanding, it’s an odd experience. As I stood too close to the partially exposed man next to myself, I wondered WHY ON EARTH it was designed this way (the bathroom, not my… nevermind.) The space wasn’t more efficient, as only 3 men could write their names in the bathtub at a time, and each tub took the space of about 3 urinals. It was gross. No offense, but I don’t want to see another man’s urine “flow by” while I’m relieving myself. Add the drunken stupor of the 3rd period, and I was actually in danger of being splashed by a laughing, beer filled urinator. But I digress…

The game was actually the highlight (and most memorable part) of the evening. If you’re a hockey fan, and never seen a live game, you’re missing out. The rink was much smaller than it appears on TV, and you could see rich detail that looks so plain on the tube. The puck’s spinning, smacking, bouncing, and clunking make it seem so much more real. And yes, the body checks look more painful from 30 feet away.

I found myself jumping out of my seat when State scored, and shaking my fist right along with the masses during the fight song. That is SOOOOO not like me. The whole experience was quite surreal. I was excited to go, because I’d never done anything like it before, but it really exceeded my expectations. I actually want to see more college hockey! I want to get Dish Network so that I can see the games! (and the SciFi channel…)

Anyway, it was an awesome day. Thank you Terry and Maria, I’m sure it’s an experience I’d have never lived if not for your invite. GO STATE!!!

Oh, Rion.

Feb 8

Posted by Shawn Powers in Space | 5 Comments

Orion's BeltWe hustled into the house last night, because the air was so cold it froze together our nose hairs as we breathed. If you’ve ever walked in sub-zero temperature, you know exactly what I mean. :) Before we opened the van door, however, Donna and I briefly gazed up at Orion, and his belt. While I’m usually the star gazer, Donna made my heart flutter a little when she mentioned Orion was her favorite constellation. That fact that she has a favorite constellation is cool, calling it by name is awesome.

As most things usually do, that got me thinking. What do you see when you look up at the stars? Are you amazed at our smallness? Do you find it odd that some of the twinkles are actually from millions of years ago, and some billions? Do you just see big and little dippers?

Whenever I gaze into the heavens, I am in awe. The universe is just that, awe inspiring. I want my kids to look up, and visit distant galaxies, wonder what the pink Orion Nebula smells like, and experience joy and sadness at the sheer immensity of “up.”

When they watch Star Trek, I want them to live vicariously through Captain Piccard and Wesley Crusher. When the space shuttle launches, I want them to think, “WOW!!! Those guys are going to SPACE!!!” I hope they believe interstellar travel is possible, it just hasn’t been invented yet. Never underestimate the power of dreams. Never underestimate the dreams the night sky can produce.

Look up my friend, look up.

How great is winter?

Feb 6

Posted by Shawn Powers in General Thoughts | 4 Comments

Ask me my favorite season, and you’ll get a different answer on any given day.

Fall, especially here in Northern Michigan, is absolutely stunning. The trees put on a show as they pack up for winter that makes the 4th of July fireworks seem pathetic. Summer, while often too hot for my taste, has long, beautiful days full of business and relaxation mingled together. Even if the only good thing summer provides is a reason to make sun tea — that alone is worth it. :) Spring, while often cold and mucky (especially up here), brings promise of new life. The trees come back from their vacation, the seedlings begin to poke through the soil, and the birds are there to pester the squirrels away from their feeders again.

Swingset in the backyardSince we’re in the middle of winter, this is currently my favorite season. If you are too southerly to get snow, boy are you missing out. Don’t get me wrong, I really don’t like the cold — but from the confines of a warm house, the blankets of snow seem wonderfully cozy. Add a fireplace or a wood stove, and you’ve got a recipe for poetry. Add a cup of tea or coffee, and you’ve got a taste of the divine.

And with that, I’ll close. I’m going to put the fire under the tea kettle, and steep some Earl Grey.

Writer’s Block Journal

Feb 3

Posted by Shawn Powers in General Thoughts, Writing | 5 Comments

I have nothing interesting to say. Don’t get me wrong, I have lots of things I want to write about — but I can’t seem to “Use My Words” like Mom used to tell me. I want to write about my silly habit of curling up by the heater vent on a cold morning. I have some pretty deep thoughts regarding writing in general. Even the moon and it’s future colonization is rattling around my melon recently. I just can’t seem to write the thoughts in my head.

I think that a good writer is someone that can get their thoughts into words. Thoughts don’t suffer from repetitive word usage, grammar problems, etc. Thoughts are so non-linear, drifting, creative things, that writing them down is the art form, not dreaming them up in the first place. How I long for the Vulcan mind meld technology to surpass the current day voice recognition.

Anyway, I have to be careful, or this will become writing, and I’m convinced that I’m unable to write right now. Good night everyone. Maybe I’ll dream up the words to describe the beautiful snowfall we had today.

–20 minutes of pacing the house, etc–

See, here I am again. Couldn’t sleep. Still can’t write. It’s terribly depressing when the tool you use to express yourself is broken. I have an almost palpable weight in my chest. It’s like my heart is a little too heavy. Usually I’d resort to some snarky comment, or shallow but humorous diatribe about some equally shallow topic. (Restaurant spikes anyone?) I think the trouble I’m really having is that I realize my writing reflects what I want people to see rather than what is really down deep in my soul. Nothing rings true like truth. I should put that on a T-Shirt or something.

Why can’t I write what’s really inside me? Maybe because I’m afraid I’m really not that interesting. I can make things interesting, but I think deep down I’m afraid that if I were to write for real, REALLY REAL, it wouldn’t be very good. In other words, expose my soul only to find my soul is rather ordinary. If I write superficially, it can be fun to read, and fun to write — but it’s safe. If I write about my inadequacies, fears, inner conflicts, secret self-esteem issues, contradicting core beliefs, etc — it’s scary. There are things I don’t even think about, much less write about.

So is that what a good writer does? Expose their soul? Does it take a special kinda soul to be a great writer? If I’m afraid to be real in my writing, how can I expect anyone to connect with it? Writing is like standing naked in a huge room of fully dressed beauty pageant judges. The possibility of applause is so easy to squelch with the horrifying reality that even one of those judges won’t like the way you look.

Maybe this post, which will be read by half a dozen people at most, is the first step toward being a good writer. Writing is so much more than grammar and spelling. I want to experience it to the fullest. Maybe this paranoid, depressed, writers-blockism is all a part of it. Time will tell. For now, I’ll waffle a bit about whether to click “Publish” or “Delete.”