Archive for December, 2008

Resolutions

I’m not usually a fan of New Year’s resolutions, but this year, I’m going to try a few. It’s not that the concept has grown on me, but rather the timing is fairly good. I need to concentrate on a few things, and it happens to be the end of the year. So: Resolution Time. Here are mine:

1. Blog-a-Day
I could say this was so that I entertained everyone at a more regular basis. I could say it was so I would get enough regular traffic to make money with ads. But, since I don’t have ads and I’m not terribly entertaining, that would be a lie. Basically, I need to write. For many reasons. Feel free to watch. :)

2. Lose Weight
Yes yes, very common New Year’s resolution. It’s really starting to affect me though. I need to weigh about 35-40 pounds less than I currently do. If you know me, and think I’m being absurd — trust me, I carry my weight well. Too well.

3. Certain Health Issue
I’m really not up for talking about the specifics publicly, but suffice to say I’m having some pretty serious health issues that I’m forcing myself to take care of. I’m seeing a doctor tomorrow, which is so not like me. I suspect I’ll blog about it later, sorry to bring it up and not explain. Mentioning it here, even this vague, is forcing me to deal with it. Take THAT, me!

I think 3 is good for now. How about you? Do you do the whole “resolution” thing? What are some of yours?

Vince Made Me Chuckle. :)

On my “POKE Me About Pills” post, Vince left this this morning:

‘Twas the day before Christmas
and all through the house
not a Shawn was stirring
and nor was his spouse.

The pills were all waiting
all snug in their bottle
’cause Shawn hadn’t taken one
as he knows that he ought’l

And so Vince exclaimed
ere he left to go chill
Merry Christmas my friend
now go take your pill!

Merry Christmas to you too, my friend. And thanks again. :)

Buy a Geek, Buy a Cow

calcowI know I said we’d never speak of it again, but I figure the chance to humiliate me a bit, with the added benefit of, well, benefiting those in need might make it worth while.

Remember those “Hot Blogger” calendars I blogged about? The ones that yours truly graces November in? Well, it turns out that if you buy one by clicking through from my site, I get a kickback. I had forgotten about that, until today, when two things happened. One, I got a note from the calendar selling place saying that 3 calendars had been sold from my site. I made $6. The second thing was that Jane emailed telling me that between now and Dec. 31st, my “cut” goes from $2 a calendar to $4.

That got me thinking. First off, I like the idea of the Hot Blogger Calendar. It showcases folks that are “Hot” for more than just their physical hotness. I want them to succeed. I’m not comfortable trying to sell calendars that *I* am in, however. It just makes me feel icky. So here’s my plan:

(A note for my vegan friends: if you decide to buy a calendar, and want to make sure your money doesn’t go toward a cow — let me know and I’ll make sure it goes toward the purchase of a tree seedling through heifer.org)

Any monies I receive from calendars sold through this site from now until Dec 31 will be used to purchase a cow for those in need. I’ll be using a very reputable charitable organization: Heifer International. I realize this is a rough time of year for people to donate to charities, even those that are really worthwhile. So I figured some incentive was in order. (Yes, I realize you’d get a calendar with me as Mr. November, but I was thinking something a little more, well, entertaining.)

If we get enough to buy a portion of a cow ($50, or 13 calendars):
I will write and post a poem or short story about a cow. I have no idea which, nor do I have any idea what the story would be about apart from said cow — but I’d do my best to make it absurd and fun.

If we get enough to buy (2) portions of a cow ($100, or 25 calendars):
I will do a dramatic reading of the poem/short story. Depending on how the story goes, I’ll be sure to use the appropriate voices. I’d expect a British cow with a horrible accent.

If we get enough to buy a whole cow ($500, or 125 calendars):
I will do a cow inspired music video, and post it for all to see. I think THIS music will be what I’ll use. I’m embarrassed just thinking about it. :D

So there ya go. Click here to buy a calendar. It counts if you get the girl blogger calendar too. No need to just get the guys. Heck, if you don’t want a calendar, you can always just donate money directly to the “make Shawn dance like a cow” fund via paypal. There’s really no way for me to guarantee I’m not a swindler trying to take your money — but deep down, you know I want to do the cow video, so it’s fairly safe to assume I won’t be fudging the books. Just go to PayPal.com, click “Send Money”, and send money to paypal@brainofshawn.com — I’ll know it’s for the cow, because I’ve never used my paypal account for anything else. :D

How cool would it be if we actually raised enough to buy a cow?

Tags: , , , ,

Our Annual Perigee Celebration

Well, it’s a song cool enough to repeat as often as it happens. Tonight, the full moon is the perigee moon, which means it is closer to Earth than any other time of year. It’s also in a particular part of the lunar cycle to make it closer than normal even for perigee. So it’s like really close and stuff. Don’t worry, the human eye can barely tell the difference. :)

In honor of the awesome “almost touch it if you stretch” moon, I give you the Sponge Monkeys, and their rendition of “We Like the Moon”. Enjoy.

Hey, It’s Like Typing Without the Letters…

Mobile post sent by trunkboy using Utterlireply-count Replies.  mp3

UPDATE: I made it home. :)

Proper Candy Cane Technique

As the president of the NCCAoA (National Candy Cane Association of America), I feel a public service message is in order. Considering the season, it’s very likely candy canes are being improperly consumed. The following is the only acceptable consumption technique:

1) Broken candy canes are an abomination, and must be discarded immediately. Just because a broken candy cane may retain it’s hook-like shape due to its plastic housing, it is not OK to eat. If it’s cracked, discard it.

2) Using a paring knife, or other non-serrated blade, carefully make a clean cut all the way around the cane, approximately an inch above the end. Be careful not to cut too deeply, but be certain the plastic is entirely severed.

3) Very carefully peel the end bit of plastic off the cane. BE SURE not to peel beyond the cut. If your knife cut was not complete, and the plastic begins to peel above the area — see Addendum 2.

4) Once the candy cane is exposed, feel free to enjoy the pepperminty goodness. If properly done, your candy cane will dissolve evenly, while the still attached plastic forms a moisture barrier, protecting the structural integrity of the remaining candy cane. (See figure 1)

5) Repeat the procedure, working slowly up cane shaft. Be aware that once you approach the hook area, proper consumption becomes difficult. It is acceptable to put the entire “U” shaped portion of the cane in your mouth — but it must not be taken out once placed inside.

Figure 1.
Figure 1.

Addendum 1)
If in a public setting, or in any situation that would create an awkward situation by placing the “U” shaped end of the cane into your mouth, it is acceptable to dispose of the end of the cane. In this circumstance, the hook portion is considered the handle for eating the candy, and not candy itself.

Addendum 2)
If the plastic begins to peel past the cut area, it is occasionally possible to salvage the cane by performing a similar cut further up the cane shaft.

Enjoy the holiday season!

You Can Make My Wife Dress Funny

Well, to be completely honest, that part is already happening (no, I’m not being mean: bear with me). Many of you know Donna (my wife) works in the library at the school. One of the things she’s been doing is trying to get more books into the library. Many books, especially newer releases, are in very short supply. This is largely due to budgetary cuts.

Donna’s been very crafty in procuring the aforementioned books, using things like www.paperbackswap.com, emailing community members, and more recently using Amazon wish lists. She recently started a promotion in which if 20 books were donated, she’d dress up like Santa on the last day of school. She made a large display with stacks of books that get colored whenever a book is purchased, etc.

With only the promotion of her bulletin board, the 20 books came in before Thanksgiving. My wife is awesome, and our community really stepped up. Now, she’s extended the promotion, and if they get 50 books — the high school principal will dress like the Grinch. It’s important to know that the principal is a very well dressed, no nonsense guy — and him dressing up is really an amusing notion.

So if you just read John Scalzi’s post about buying books, or if you just think buying books for a school library in need is an awesome idea — I urge you to check out their website. The wishlist is linked on the site.

Yay for books!

And How Are You?

Well I’m glad you asked. The blog-o-meter currently shows that my life is hectic to the point of non-posting. It’s been a long time since I’ve been this neglectful to blog.

I could claim, “It’s my blog, I can do what I want!” But that would be a lie, because you see I rather like writing stuff here.

So anyway, I’m off to the grindstone again. (That was a lie too, there is no grindstone) Hope your day is full of awesome.