Maybe you like corn.
Or soy beans.
Or John Scalzi
Or Buckeyes.
Or humidity.
Or the occasional pig farm.
Or maybe it’s just on your way to somewhere.
Whatever your reason, I’ll tell you why I’M going to Ohio:
And in the words of Levar Burton, don’t take my word for it — come see for yourself!!! It’s free, it’s nerdy, and it’s so cool even me being a keynote speaker can’t ruin it. See you there? 
I wish I could. It would be both a fun fest and a chance to meet you in person. Sadly, I have my hands full with work. (I’m not sad I’m busy – bills are being paid – but sad it prevents me from going.)
Have fun. I’m sure you’re speech will be great.
It would be great to meet you and all the other fine Linux folks, but it is a bit far for me right now. Besides, I am on call for jury duty at Federal District Court for the entire month, so guess I’d better stick close to home. If I WERE going to be there, I would stop in and visit the Thruber House in Columbus, that’s for sure!
Have a good trip and post lots of pix.
If I could be there, I would.
Oh, I forgot. Mrs. Highpants was born in Cinci. That’s one reason I’d go. Also, there are nice people there.
Well, we also have Amish. We roll them out every weekday and twice on the weekend for the tourists.
LOL, the Amish. I almost forgot. Oddly, they usually don’t attend my tech talks…
Apparently “a buckeye” is a desert delicacy in Ohio. Its a peanut butter ball covered in chocolate.