Christmas: How Did You Know?

It is the time of year where we get presents. That means it’s the time of year for awkward moments where you must pretend your gift is something you’ve always wanted. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about, “It’s the thought that counts” — but we’ve all gotten those 3 armed sweaters from Crazy Aunt Judy. It’s the time of year for looking past the practicality of a battery operated pasta sorter, and look deeper. Remember that if your relative thinks you should be eating pasta, it means they think you’re skinny. See? It’s a wonderful gift.

Did you get a hideous tie? It just means the gifter thinks you have enough charisma to wear anything and have it look good. Did you get a sausage and cheese pack that looks like it’s from 1986? That’s aged fake-plastic cheddar! It’s probably worth thousands!

The one gift that’s always hard to take well is the soap and deodorant gift pack. How that says anything other than, “You smell bad, I thought this might help” is beyond me. I always try to imagine the person thinks I’m very concerned about hygiene, and knows I’d never splurge on an off brand travel sized gift pack myself. Oh, by the way, what is shower gel anyway? I never know what to do with half those bottles that come in the gift pack…

Anyway, keep your smile on full bore over the next couple days. Remember it’s the thought that counts. Remember you can always regift that sausage and cheese pack next year (they only improve with age I’m told). And lastly, hold off on your pasta sorting — your days of manual sorting are almost over!

Merry Christmas and happy holidays everyone. 🙂

4 Comments

  1. I have a different interpretation of, “It’s the thought that counts.” If you don’t know what to get me and don’t bother to figure out what I would actually like, you’re a jerk for giving me a thoughtless gift. I almost never by presents because I truly believe it’s the thought, and not the gift, that counts. If I waste my money on a thoughtless gift, I’m a jerk. If I put some thought into it, but got it wrong anyway, you’re allowed to throw it away, re-gift it, or return it, because it’s the thought that counts. That also means you’re allowed to tell me you’re going to return it and I won’t think less of you for it.

  2. I am sort of a persnicketty person, and because of that, I really HATE receiving gifts most of the time. Except gift cards — those are awesome! Especially gift cards to the co-op. 🙂 And my boyfriend is pretty good at buying CDs for me.

  3. Dr. Phil says:

    My favorite was the aftershave given to me by my father-in-law — and I hadn’t shaved since 1 May 1981…

    Dr. Phil

  4. My wife was a little upset when we finished opening gifts and she realized that all she got me was clothes. I was happy though, the last give I opened was a new Lenovo ThinkPad. Sure, I’m the one who found it, picked it out and ordered it online. Then gave it to my wife and told her to rap it and give it to me on Christmas. But, I’m still happy to have it.

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