The Brain of Shawn

You might notice that I have a little widget in the upper right hand corner, which I update when I take my blood pressure medicine every morning. It’s there, because I’m HORRIBLE about remembering such things, and a few folks are kind enough to remind me if I don’t.

This post shall be the official, “Remind Shawn” post. If it’s after 8:30AM EST, and I haven’t updated that widget in the corner, please don’t hesitate to slap me around a bit in the comment section. I deserve it.

(I don’t, however, deserve the kindness of you guys reminding me — but I’m just going to be thankful, and accept it on behalf of my family. They kinda want me around for the long haul, and high blood pressure sorta negates that likelihood. Thanks again.)

This is Amanda. This is Amanda’s Drug Abuse Resistance Education diploma. She completed the course, passed whatever tests need to be passed, and made her parents proud.

I’d like to take this time to share my views on speaking to your kids about drugs. Do it. Often.

Yes, yes, that’s a pretty common mantra, “Talk to your kids about drugs.” What I want to stress though, is that you really need to talk with them about drugs. Openly. Freely. With it being OK to joke about it, and ask questions, and be comfortable about the topic. We should discourage drug use, but encourage drug awareness.

If your child associates “drug talks” as some dark, threatening, awkward thing that must be endured from parents — your talks will do very little once your child grows “wings” of their own. Don’t let that happen. Make it so that your kids know more about drugs than the peers trying to force them into it. Let your kid be the one that confidently and correctly calls them idiots for doing drugs.

Ok, that’s my public service message. I’m proud of Amanda. She’s awesome.

Our local grocery store has a machine that prints coupons for you as you check out. It bases the particular coupons on the things you buy, and has a fairly good track record of choosing appropriate products. I just went to the store to pick something up for dinner for the kids. Our purchases were:

• (1) Bottle of sparkling grape juice. (The kids like to pretend its wine)
• (2) Bags of Doritos (they’re on sale buy one get one)
• (3) Kid Cuisine TV dinners.

And this is the coupon that printed out for me:

Don’t get me wrong, $2.00 off seems like a good deal and all, but I find the demographics a bit off…

There are a couple things I want you to notice about this picture. It’s poor quality is not one of them.

1) Janiece sent me this jam, because she’s really awesome, and I am pathetically awesomely fast with comments.

2) It arrived when I was in Houston, and my family waited until I got home to open it. Which means that:

3) The missing jam has all been consumed in the past few days.

I know what you’re thinking. I’m a big pig, and I eat the stuff out of the jar with a spoon. Well, you’re only partially right. I did take a big spoonful out to try it. BUT, the majority of jam consumption was accomplished by my family. That’s significant because they normally don’t like strawberry jam. This is assuredly due to the yumminess of her creation.

Thanks Janiece!!!

I got to talk to the family this morning with Skype’s video chat. Video really does make it more personal. And Skype works so darn well that the process is painless.

If you commute, do you Skype with your family? You should try it…

After I did the cinnamon challenge, Kate Baker gave it a go as well. Then, Donna got home, and figured she’d give it a try too. Here is Donna doing the cinnamon challenge:

Carlie: I’m pretty sure you have to do the challenge now…

Everybody’s doing it, so I figgered I would too. I saw Jim’s first, so officially that’s the one I’m responding to. Enjoy:

1) Ever been in a relationship lasting over 5 years?

Yes, been married for 12 years. Also, had a pair of sneakers for about 7. The wife is much better looking. And smells nicer.

2) What was one of your dreams growing up?

A writer. Really. Probably an astronaut as well, but the writer thing has been pretty constant my whole life.

3) What talent do you wish you had?

Money management. I actually wish there was a service that took all my money, paid all my bills, planned for retirement, and gave me the appropriate amount for food and gas. I really really suck at managing money. Or, in lieu of that, the ability to turn snow into gold. That would suffice.

4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?

Coffee. Strong. Black.

5) Favorite books?

Well, I’ve had to start over with my reading since my car accident — so my pool to pick from is smaller. I liked “Forever War” quite a bit, and Heinlein always seems to please. I’m glad I read Dune, but have no desire to read more in the series.

6) What was the last book you read?

Spiderwick Chronicles. (To the kids)
Currently reading, “Stranger in a Strange Land”

7) Astrology: Menace to science education or entertainment?

It seems absurd to me that people take Astrology as more than fluffy silliness, but some do. So for that alone, I say menace.

8 ) Any tattoos and/or piercings? Explain where.

Nope. I’ve accidentally poked large holes in my hide before, but the outcome is almost always stitches and tetanus shots as opposed to pretty decorations.

9) Worst habit?

Chewing my nails.

10) Best attribute?

Hmm… I’m not really sure. I’m loyal to a fault, so I’m not sure if that’s good or not. I guess I’ll just say I’m a Nice Guy. With faults, but still, I’m usually a Nice Guy. Oh, and I guess I’m funny. But saying you’re funny takes away the funny. So no, I’m not funny.

11) What are your favorite hobbies?

Reading, surfin’ the ‘net (duuuude…), messing with computers, learning.

12) Do you have a negative or optimistic attitude?

Unfortunately, negative. I have to work to stay positive, because really, that’s so much better. I think my job has ruined me in that regard. I’m not nearly as carefree and silly as I used to be.

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?

Pray that I (or you) hadn’t eaten chili recently. Seriously though, talk and joke. I like people in small groups, it’s the large rooms full of people that make me stabby.

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?

Car accident. It was also the best thing that happened to me. So go figure.

15) Best thing to ever happen to you?

Well, see above…

16) Tell me one weird fact about you.

My right foot is is slightly turned out. When I stand, my feet look like this: | /

17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?

The dogs would bark. Incessantly. I would holler at them. They would continue to bark. Then I’d offer to make you some coffee.

18) What was your first impression of me?

Gruff but not mean. The kind of guy that might pull my car out of a ditch, and expect nothing but sincere thanks in return. (I’m that kinda guy too)

19) What scares you?

Those I care about going through pain that I can’t take away. On small and large scales. This is especially true of my kids. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them. (Warning: Link to some of my Christian theological struggles)

20) If you could change one thing about how you are, what would it be?

I wish I was more of a risk taker, professionally at least. The problem is that I’m paranoid about providing for my family, AND I suck at money management (see above).

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

It depends. I’d be Robin Hood’s Little John. I’m vengeful like that.

22) What color eyes do you have?

I dunno, you judge: (Today, they look green… it varies)

23) Ever been arrested? If so, what for?

Nope. I should have been once though, after a certain weekend party at college. We were walking home through downtown Houghton, after all the bathrooms were closed. ’nuff said.

24) Favorite dessert?

Something with cinnamon. I really love cinnamon.

25) If you won $1000 today, what would you do with it?

Pay bills. $1000 ain’t what it used to be.

26) Tell me something you want me to know about you.

There’s nothing I enjoy more than making people smile. Oh, and I HATE being tickled. So don’t tickle me. I mean it.

27) What’s your favorite place to hang out?

A comfy chair near a fireplace. There is no such place anywhere in my life. This saddens me.

28) Do you believe in ghosts? Aliens?

Ghosts, no. Aliens, yes. Not that have visited us, or are living among us, but it seems absurd that we’re it.

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

Read and write. I find little time to do either. This too saddens me.

30) Do you swear a lot?

Very, very rarely. And then, it’s mild profanity.

31) Biggest pet peeve?

Idiots.

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?

Splarnictintious. I think I deserve my own word. (So, maybe that means, “Conceited…”)

33) Do you believe in/appreciate romance?

Yes, I’m just very bad at it. This saddens my wife immensely.

34) Most unusual place you’ve had sex?

Use your imagination. I guarantee it’s more interesting than the truth.

35) Do you believe in an afterlife?

Yes, but realize I’m one of the most skeptical Christians I know. This too saddens me.

Your turn!

We took the kids to see The Spiderwick Chronicles last night. This movie was significant for a couple reasons. The first, is that all the special effects (of which there were many, and well done) were all done with Linux. This, needless to say, makes me happy.

Second, we just read, as a family, the whole Spiderwick series. There are 5 books in the set, and they are a very quick, very fun read. They are the sort of book that just begs to be read out loud to kids. Thankfully, it’s fast paced and fun — so it’s fun for the whole family, even our youngest. (She just turned 7)

Something that tickled my fancy, but was sort of a bummer for the kids, is that the books are WAY better than the movie. They noticed this. Very quickly. Also, they noticed how drastically different the movie was from the book. Again, all wonderful things for children to realize, because now they might actually see the advantage to books.

Don’t take that as a shot at the movie. The movie itself was awesome. Great special effects, great plot, fast action (no boring beginning, the action starts pretty early on). The kids, and their parents, truly liked the film. It might be a bit scary for particularly young children, but it’s not TOO bad. Nothing a hug from Mom wasn’t able to make all better during those scenes.

Looking at the credits, the 2 book authors were (I think) executive directors, or producers, or one of those fancy “we’re involved” titles. I think that’s really good, but it must have been heartbreaking for them at the same time. They had to butcher the books quite a bit. I don’t think they made any bad choices (apart from Hogsqueal, his character in the book is done soooooo much better), but lots of changes were made.

Anyway, I heartily recommend the movie, and forcibly urge you to read the books. If you have kids, read the books out loud to them. They will like it, and so will you.

My beautiful and talented wife interviewed for a position as a paraprofessional in the school library yesterday. Apparently she blew away the competition, because the interviewing process didn’t even go into a second round (normally it does).

Donna loves books, so I’m sure her enthusiasm came through in the interview. AND, the library is conveniently located approximately 2 feet from my office! (This is a good thing, my wife is teh awesome.)

So if you see my wife, be sure to congratulate her.

So, if you have a significant other, what are you getting him/her/they/them for Valentine’s day?

DISCLAIMER: If your significant other actually reads my blog, well, that’s pretty cool, but you don’t have to comment on the gift unless it’s already a done deal. As mine is.

Since Amazon will be delivering the gift tomorrow while I’m at work, Donna already knows what she’s getting. See, the gift requires some explanation… This Valentine’s Day, I ordered Donna (5) hot water bottles. That might seem odd, because, well, it is.

Donna has wanted a hot water bottle all winter, and we’ve never seen one in a store. That part of the gift was very sweet, and yes, she was very touched by my remembering. The extra 4 bottles, however, needed the explanation. The simple answer? So she doesn’t have to share HERS!!!

(The expectation is that Mommy’s cool new hot water bottle will be very popular, and Mommy will be guilted into sharing. This way, everyone can use one, and Mommy still gets it all to herself.)

Nothing like breeding greed for the holidays!