The Brain of Shawn

Incredibly awesome and tasty, or too tainted by being from McDonald’s?

I’m still undecided, and usually have 2 or 3 cups of it a day…

Our local grocery store has a machine that prints coupons for you as you check out. It bases the particular coupons on the things you buy, and has a fairly good track record of choosing appropriate products. I just went to the store to pick something up for dinner for the kids. Our purchases were:

• (1) Bottle of sparkling grape juice. (The kids like to pretend its wine)
• (2) Bags of Doritos (they’re on sale buy one get one)
• (3) Kid Cuisine TV dinners.

And this is the coupon that printed out for me:

Don’t get me wrong, $2.00 off seems like a good deal and all, but I find the demographics a bit off…

Carlie mockingly quoth thus:

Since you like cinnamon so much, try the Cinnamon Challenge. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2y2KMMk0Row

So I did.

I accidentally ate a whole bag of Chex Mix. And yeah, it really was an accident. I sat down on the couch after work, and sitting on the coffee table was an open bag of Chex Mix. Without thinking, I grabbed it, and proceeded to eat the whole thing. (Not the actual bag, I don’t want to be that guy…)

So yeah, little bump in the road. It was a tasty bump too, but oh well. Garfield is currently dieting too, this made me laugh today.

And Kate — yeah, I’ll post on your blog regarding my process. Maybe we should all be the Whatever Refugee Weight Loss Regime. Or something else that has a cool acroynym. Because acronyms are awesome.

OK, so here’s the deal: I’m currently claiming more than my fair share of matter in the universe. I’ve had this struggle before, and it’s usually due to stress at work. (Well, ok, it’s indirectly due to stress at work, it’s actually due to eating lots of food and being a lazy SOB) It’s not that I’m terribly vain, and need to look like an Olympic swimmer to impress my wife, but I still need to lose weight. Here’s why:

• My wife deserves to have a man that looks good. This is largely because she is way out of my league, and she loves me anyway. That’s the kind of woman that you want to look good for.
• My heart tends to not like me a whole lot. It insists that if I’m even slightly overweight, that I must want my blood pressure to be dangerously high. No amount of fatty foods and couch sitting can convince it otherwise. I’ve tried.
• I kinda want to be alive. Ya know, not dead and stuff. I don’t have the luxury of being mildly overweight and remaining relatively healthy. My body, my blood pumper specifically, has very strict guidelines under which it agrees to keep me alive for the long haul. This, by the way, sucks.

SO, if you see me walking down the street eating a cupcake, slap it out of my hand. Actually, most of you live quite a ways away from me, so if you see me walking down the street, it likely means I’m stalking you. Call the police.

That said, if I seem particularly grumpy in the near future — it’s not anything you’ve done. Except that you haven’t fed me. And that’s a good thing. Anyway, wish me luck. I need to lose about 25-30 pounds.

(Oh, and those of you thinking I look a nice healthy weight in my videos and such — you’re very kind, but unfortunately, I carry my weight well. Very few people guess that I’m pushing 200 pounds, but in fact, I am.)

I’ve been following the Eat-2-Live diet very closely since Sunday. Yes, I realize that’s only 3 days ago. I’m pretty ticked off, because in that time, I’ve actually GAINED 3 pounds. What’s up with that!?!?!

I’m sure it’s just some odd fluke, but it sure is disheartening. My first instinct is to ask, “I can has cheezeburger?“

I love scented candles. I love the smell of fresh baked bread. In much the style Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups were invented, what if candles and bread crossed?

Would you like a fresh baked bread scented candle? I’ll tell you what, I’d buy that for a dollar!

(Incidentally, “I’d buy that for a dollar” is a rather famous, if not obscure movie quote from here.)

Just a quick post about a big annoyance of mine. In the past month, I’ve been to (3) restaurants with the most absurd forks ever forged. (Are forks forged? That awful fancy talk for a lowly fork… anyway…)

Does someone think these pitchforks are actually fancier than a human fork? Was it actually hard to keep track of 4 freakin’ tines? Please people, I’d rather eat with a spork than with one of these ridiculous food pokers.

I’ve noticed that I’ve fattened up of late. I notice it because the only pants that fit me are the 2 pair of fat-guy khakis I have left from my pre-skinny-getting days. What happened?

You stopped eating smart, you dolt. You eat anything you want, as much as you want, and any time you want. You’re lucky you can fit your fat-guy pants on.

The truth of the matter is, I don’t have the motivation to cook anymore. Maybe I should start with some of the simpler vegan recipes, and get fancy if I so desire. I guess I need to look back on all the advice I would give new Eat-2-Live folks, and follow it myself.

So hopefully, I’ll get a little smaller before too long. Wish me luck!!!

I signed up for a free coffee maker. (The promotion is over, sorry) Part of the deal is that I share the coffee with friends, and they’ll love it so much they’ll rush out and buy the $70 machine for themselves. Here’s my review.
First off, I wish they’d have sent me a different color, but beggars can’t be choosers. It’s a pretty cool looking device, and it’s actually fun to use. The water reservoir holds enough water for 2 mugs of water, and it keeps it hot for instant coffee goodness. It’s super easy to use, and is very fast.

Basically, you make sure there’s water in it, and turn it on. In 90 seconds, it’s hot enough to brew a cup of water. It’ll keep the water hot for an hour and a half before auto shutting off. You then put a pod (or two, more on that later) into the filter area, and press the button. 30 seconds later, you have tasty looking, frothy coffee.

There are a few gotchas though. First off, the “pod” of coffee makes a teeny weeny cup of coffee. You know, one of those little dainty looking cups that comes with a set of plates, saucers, etc. No one ever uses those things, but that’s the size cup a pod makes. It’s sad. You can make a full mug of coffee, the size normal people drink, but it takes 2 pods of coffee.

The pods are also rather pricey. They’re not unbearable, but especially with the “takes 2″ requirement, it ends up being somewhere around 50 cents for an 8 ounce mug of coffee. For home brew, that’s pretty expensive.

Sadly, the coffee isn’t the best tasting either. It’s not bad, but with it’s coffee-house like appearance, I expected perfection. The froth (crema for you professionals) is really beautiful, and the final product does smell nice. I think it’s just the age of the grind. I don’t really like pre-ground beans anyway, so ground, podded, packaged, and shipped beans have a lot to overcome.

Strength is something that might be a problem for some people. The 2 pods in a mug method makes fairly strong coffee. I really like strong coffee, so it’s actually a perfect brew for me, but most people will need to milk it up, or decide between slightly too strong (2 pods in one mug), or too weak (1 pod in a mug).

The Senseo really excels in convenience, that’s for sure. It’s FAST. It’s cool factor also helps. You feel like you’re brewing a cup of cappuccino, and the crema makes it LOOK like fancy too. (When you taste it, you realize it’s just coffee, but it’s not bad coffee)

My final thoughts? It’s a keeper. It found a home on my coffee counter. It will stay there until I get a fancy espresso maker. And because I’m an honest guy, if you come over, I’ll brew you a cup.