Phobias and Tiny Potties

I think it’s still “Mental Health Awareness Month.” Or whatever it’s called. This post is the 38,000ft edition of, “Crazy Things About Shawn.” I’m currently somewhere over Iowa, and just had my traditional ginger ale and Delta cookie treat. (Truly, they taste amazing together, but only when you’re 7 miles up in the air) As … Read more

Dropping Chocolate

This evening, Donna and I were driving home from dinner out with friends. It was snowing pretty hard, and we were at the intersection of a wide, busy road. Donna warned me of car coming from her side, and then after it passed I gunned the gas pedal to get out on the road quickly. … Read more

A Conversation With My Wife

While driving, my audiobook is interrupted by a phone call from my wife. (All hands free, for those concerned) ————- Donna: Twitter doesn’t give me enough characters to write the school’s entire name in the “Full Name” field when I try to create an account. Me: How close is it? Donna: “Harbor Light Christi” Me: … Read more

The Plant Kingdom Follows Google’s Lead

In an unexpected announcement today, the Plant Kingdom spokesman, Fern Dirtlicker, told press, “providing oxygen free of charge no longer fits into our business plan.” When asked if the Plant Kingdom will offer a subscription service, or possibly sell the oxygen manufacturing industry to another company, Fern replied, “Nope. We’re just not going to do … Read more

The Defender of the Office Realm

  The office realm was a happy place. Mondays came, and Mondays went — but the supply of Monday repellant was always plentiful and hot. But then one foul, foul day, something horrible happened. The Elixir of Promised Fridays disappeared! Knowing the Office Realm could not survive under such dire circumstances, the king decided to … Read more

My Chat with AT&T

Posted without comment… info: Please wait for a chat representative to respond. info: You are now chatting with ‘Ian Young’ Ian Young: Thank you for chatting with at&t today, I am happy to assist you Shawn Powers: Can you give me an idea when our service will work here in Indian River, MI? Ian Young: … Read more

Photon Obesity At All Time High

Our nation is struggling with a growing obesity problem unlike anything we’ve seen in generations past. Our slovenly lifestyle is beginning to leak into science as well, however, and the ramifications could be deadly. Researchers at CERN, (yes THAT CERN) have discovered the speed of light is beginning to slow down. They fired a beam … Read more

My Plan To Replace The Dollar Bill

I don’t really have anything against dollar bills. I don’t. They fit in your wallet well, they are great for tipping, and they smell pretty cool. (That’s actually cool of all denominations, not just singles. Hey don’t judge me, marker sniffer.) Apart from that, they are a waste. As it turns out, paper currency costs … Read more