This shouldn’t really come as a shock to anyone, as magazines right and left are either switching to digital, or closing shop altogether. As a tech magazine, I’m quite pleased to see us go for the former instead of slowly and painfully succumbing to the latter. The truth is, I can tell you first hand that Linux Journal is about 2 things: Content and people. And not in that order. With this change, those 2 things will remain at the top of our priority list.

It’s funny, because based on some of the negative feedback we’ve gotten, I suspect people think Linux Journal is a big conglomerate somewhere, and a fat guy smoking a cigar decided to cancel traditional publishing. As if he were sitting on a pile of money, and didn’t want to pay the small increase in price to keep printing. The truth is we’re a handful of regular old people scattered around the country. We have mortgages and drive crappy cars. Most of us have “day jobs” that not only supplement, but bring in the lion’s share of our income. We do Linux Journal because we love it. We love the people. We love the freedom. We love the penguin. If it were a matter of increasing prices a buck or two, we’d have done so. As the entire industry is showing, it’s a much, much bigger problem than that.

I kinda thought of all readers, ours would be the most understanding. And for the most part, they are. Linux people are smart people. The print magazine industry is dying, and either we adapt, or we just become a nostalgic part of history. We don’t want to move to a digital only platform, we must do so, or just pack up our toys and go home.

Thankfully, the majority of our subscribers are positive, if not bummed, about the change. Heck, we are too. We’re terrified that this “thing” we’ve come to love might not make it. We’re worried that people will just get angry and not buy the magazine anymore. We’re sad because we have no magic wand to make things all better. So, we will do all we know how to do: Create content. It’s what we’ve always done, and as long as we can find a place to write our stuff, it’s what we’ll continue to do. Hopefully we’ll thrive in this new digital age. It seems we are the right demographic to do so.

Hopefully, you’ll join us.

Sadly, before the double moon set on the harvest celebration, Lagoria and Lizzanthia were on a photo hunt with their new fairies and fell upon a fierce dragon. Excited to get sketches of the dragon, both girls sent their trembling fairies after the dragon as it retreated into its cave. The girls stayed safely outside the cave, but knew that since fairies can’t be burned by dragon flame, the sketches they would get would be lovely.

And they were.

The sketches were magnificent. Everyone from miles around was shocked and amazed at how detailed the sketches were. Why, even the corners of the canvases were scorched, and the sulfur-laced smoke could still be smelled as if the viewer was deep within the dragon’s cave. In fact, it was so full of realism, the girls were forced to keep the sketches outside so the family wouldn’t choke from the smoke!

The problem came when the girls took their fairies out on another photo hunt. While fairies can’t be harmed by dragon fire, they aren’t immune to dragon magic. So while the fairies continued to sketch for the girls, every sketch smelled like fire and brimstone, and every sketch contained the likeness of the dragon himself. See for yourself!

So now, the girls borrow their mother’s Sketch Fairy from time to time, but apart from that have no way to record the beauty of the realm. They hope someday to be gifted with the Pink Camera of Sweetness and Light so they can once again capture their world without the taint of dragon. Until that day, the Sketch Fairies will live in agony, knowing they can not make Lagoria and Lizzanthia smile.

The End. (Or is it?)

So, whether I’m talking about my latest escapades with weight loss and exercise, explaining why charcoal grilling is the only real grilling (Hank Hill can disagree all he wants), or speaking geek over at Linux Journal (I’m horribly behind on blogging and videos over there) — I expect in the near future you will hear more from me.

And stuff has been happening. It’s just that you don’t know about it. If you follow me on Twitter you know more than some people — but really I’ve been pretty silent for half a year or so.

Can you believe it’s been that long since our house burned down? Dang.

Anyway this post serves 2 purposes:

1. To prepare the world for the tomfoolery I’ll likely spew upon it, and
2. To commit to actually returning to life as I used to know it. Saying it publicly kinda makes me a jerk if I don’t follow through.

So, how have you been?

• Our community is pretty conservative, so graphic alien on alien action is likely a deal breaker.
• Please don’t recommend a book that is in the middle of a series. Recommend the whole series. Seriously, my OCD can’t handle that nonsense.
• Newer authors are encouraged. The classics are certainly not to be left out, but really — we want to introduce kids to new authors as well.
• I think that’s it!

So please, leave your thoughts in the comments. Also, if you know anyone that would have an opinion on the issue, please pass a link along. I’m really hoping to get a good list together for her. Thank you!

Anyway, in no particular order, here’s what I hope to do in 2010:

1) Finish the project I’m horribly behind on.

Unfortunately, it’s a time sensitive project, and the time has long since passed the sensitive zone. The people I’m working with on this project are incredibly wonderful to work with, and beyond understanding when it comes to my crazy schedule — but I gotta be honest, they deserve better. I’d like to get this particular resolution done in January.

2) Learn to use a Linux video editor.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a zealot when it comes to Linux. I’m really not. Here’s the deal though, I’d really like to make the videos I do for Linux Journal on a Linux machine. It just seems like the right thing to do. My lack of motivation for switching has been because I can already edit video really efficiently on OSX, and it took me a long time to learn Final Cut. Still, I’d like to use Linux as my primary system, so this is a goal. (Kris Occhipinti has been a huge motivation on this front. Thanks Kris.)

3) Change the way I eat.

Note: This is not a, “Lose Weight” resolution. This is an, “Eat Better” resolution. There are two major problems with my current eating lifestyle: Quantity & Quality. Once I finish resolution #1, hopefully I can take some of that time to actually cook food. I still eat at restaurants way too often.

4) Exercise.

I’ll be honest, this is the least likely resolution I’ll be able to accomplish. Donna convinced me to go into the local gym every morning and work out with her for a month. Since I’ll have to pay for the membership, I’ll do my best to accomplish it. Perhaps walking on a treadmill next to Donna will make it less horrifying. Man, I really hate exercise…

5) Write a Book.

I don’t care if it’s a little all year, or a cram session in November (NaNoWriMo), I really want to write a book. I’m not sure if I’ll start with fiction or technology — but I must write a book. Really.

So that’s it. It’s a lot, but I purposefully didn’t put anything on there I don’t think I can accomplish. If all you’re lacking for your New Year’s Resolutions is the commitment to make them, feel free to do so in the comment section. If you slip up, we’ll know. Well, ok, only if you tell us. But still, feel free to commit below.

Happy New Year’s!!!!

There is one task I find especially enjoyable, however: Answering letters to the editor. I’m not entirely sure why I enjoy it so much, but for some reason, interacting with readers that take the time to write in to the staff really makes me proud to be part of something bigger than myself. It’s also interesting that while I answer a bunch of the letters, it’s not always me that does so. See, all the responses are signed simply “Ed”, meaning it comes from the editorial staff in general. Yes, it’s pretty humbling to represent everyone.

So if any of you were wondering what being one of the editors of an international magazine is like, well, it’s pretty cool. The best part, however, is simply responding to people. Because it’s the people that make a community, and it’s the community that makes my job so awesome.

-Ed

Black Holes, and Other Things That Suck

You ever bark at a dog, and wonder if you’re really saying something? I always imagine we sound absolutely ridiculous to our canine buddies when we try to bark back at them. And don’t get me started on mooing at cows. (But yes, I do that too)

Imagine for a minute, if someone tried to create a human being without any real idea regarding what was important to look human. That’s basically what I was looking at. This “thing” towered over me at about 7 feet tall, and yet the skinniest little legs you could imagine. Since it was naked, I can give you some uncomfortably specific information about misshapen breasts, strange patches of hair, and anatomically oh-so-incorrect placement of certain things. But that wasn’t the disturbing part. It had hairy eyes. Like, actual eyes with hair growing from them.

And it wanted to have sex with me.

Thankfully this wasn’t the strangest thing I’d seen today. In fact, I was sort of expecting it, although in my wildest dreams I didn’t expect it to look like this. Let me catch you up though, because I’d like to get the image of this “thing” out of my mind. Things got weird this morning with Ed.

First: Back at The Ohio Linuxfest, I was interviewed by Aaron Newcomb from The Source. It’s a video interview, and my section starts around 18:45 (not that you shouldn’t watch the whole thing, I’m just sayin…)

Second: I was asked to do an interview via Twitter, and was happy to do so. Jacob Kuehndorf (@BIOSShadow) posted me as his celebrity interviewee. I find that incredibly flattering. The interview is HERE on his site.

That’s it. Just wanted to give some linkage.

First off, you should know about my accident. Reminiscing about childhood memories is much less significant unless you have acute amnesia. That said, even with amnesia (yes, it still sounds to me like something out of Jerry Springer too), Google Street View shouldn’t really have such an effect on me 10+ years after my accident. Yet, here I sit all strange-ified.

Here is the house I grew up in. The odd part is that I remember the house. The even odder part is I only remember weird fragments from the house. I remember a bungie-corded milk crate attached to one of those posts in the front that we used as a basketball hoop. I remember that fire hydrant being illegally opened so the kids in the neighborhood could play in the water. But I don’t actually remember any of the people. I remember walking to this library, but I don’t remember the actual trip. I know kids used to hide their knives in these bushes before going into Munger Middle School so they didn’t set off the metal detectors. But I don’t remember going into the school. (Don’t get me wrong, I could probably take you to my locker — I just don’t remember ever opening it. SO WEIRD.)

So while this evening I’ve been walking around my old neighborhood with Google Street View, and remembering things like Stan’s Whip and Whirl, they’re all hollow memories. I wish I could explain it better, but it’s as if I’m remembering a setting with no characters.

And yes, it creeps me right friggen out. That library I linked earlier? I know where the good books are inside. I know the smell of the back room full of grown up books that only the nerdiest kids ever checked out. Sadly, it’s all an odd, empty, lifeless memory.

Except that back room. I think I could sit in the old leather chair and smell that book dust for hours. I might drive there just to smell that smell one more time.

Once upon a time, I did a 30 day experiment in which I woke up at 5:00 AM every day. It was horrifying, but I figured if at the end I liked being a morning person, it would be worthwhile. As it turns out I don’t like being a morning person, so that plan sorta fizzled. I still consider it a success though, because now I know sleeping later isn’t just a bad habit.

I’m considering doing the same thing with scheduling. See, I’m convinced that I’m all artsy-fartsy, and I work better without a schedule. There is a distinct possibility, however, that I’m just fooling myself. Maybe if I learned to be better organized, I’d be even MORE creative. Sounds cool, eh?

I’m going to spend the rest of this week figuring out just how to schedule things. I think I’ll need to use Google Calendar, since I already have lots of stuff in there, including shared calendars with my co-workers. If I can get my iPhone to reliably give me notifications, it might work. But I’ll hate it, I know I will.

So I have a few questions for you uber-organized folks out there:

1. Do you schedule “free” time?
2. If you get behind, how do you fix it?
3. Are todo lists helpful, or should everything just be scheduled into timeslots?
4. Should I print out my daily schedule, or does digital-only seem practical?

Thanks for any feedback. Again, this is an experiment, so at the end of 30 days I’m allowed to quit if I so desire. (And no, I don’t know what the official start date will be yet.)

I don’t want to post a screenshot, because the ad is still running through this Thursday. It’s so much better to see it in its native environment. If you go to www.linuxjournal.com, and hit refresh a few times, you should see it. You absolutely can’t miss it.

If you can’t seem to get it to appear, after Thursday I’ll post a screenshot — but really it’s hilarious. I hope you get to see it.

As a career, I’ve always wanted to do one of three things:

• Be a writer
• Be a radio DJ
• or own a coffee shop

My career is related to none of those. Sadly. Rather than live a life of disappointment, however, I’ve try to never forget my dreams and aspirations. As far as the first point goes, writing for Linux Journal has certainly scratched that itch a bit. THIS blog, however, really does allow me to express myself in any way I see fit. Since it’s just my personal space, and not a topic specific blog — I can write about anything I so desire. It’s actually pretty nice.

As far as being a DJ, well, you’ve all seen my attempts to fill that void. Videos, podcasts, etc. I’m actually cooking up the idea for a regular podcast over at Linux Journal, and I have some pretty good audio equipment. Every time I perform either live or recorded, it just feels good. Perhaps it’s narcissism. Perhaps it’s conceit. Or maybe I just like to entertain others. I’m hoping for the latter.

And lastly, a coffee shop. So far all I’ve managed to do in that venue is drink a lot of coffee. I still haven’t given up the dream, but the actual coffee shop itself might have to wait until I retire. When I’m 92.

What about you? Do you have any silly aspirations that you keep pushing back into your subconscious because it’s not practical? Do you have an itch that needs to be scratched? Are you living your dream? Inquiring minds want to know.

1) How Often?

Very often new bloggers have TONS to say, and so they do. Those same bloggers end up three weeks later blogging about the shape of their dog’s kibble, because they can’t think of anything worth talking about. A great rule to follow is to blog as often as it takes to make you feel fulfilled. I’m not saying that to cop out of giving you a rule.

For me, I find that at least once a day balances well between not getting burned out and fully expressing myself. There will be a balance for you too, but you’ll have to experiment a bit to find it. Something I find that helps is to keep a short list of “things to blog about” that you can add to any time during the day. I use Google Docs (I’m at a computer most of the day), but a notecard would work just as well. If you are blogging at your “pace”, and find you run out of ideas, or that you have an over-abundance of them, you can change your pace to match.

The only downside with my method is that very often I write down an idea for a blog post, and by the time I get to blogging the idea seems stupid. I tell myself it was a stupid idea to begin with, and it just took time to realize — but that might just be me trying to console my ego. The point is, find your pace, and try to stick to it.

2) Readership Goals

I blog both here (small audience) and at Linux Journal (big audience), and the two environments are drastically different. I really enjoy both types, but to be completely honest, a big audience isn’t necessarily more fulfilling than a small one. Don’t get me wrong, there is a certain level that you want to reach, because admittedly blogging for your wife, mom, and dog alone isn’t terribly satisfying. (No offense Mom, I love ya) The community feeling you get from around 20 regular visitors is really great. Really.

If 20 regular visitors/commenters is about the minimum for a really great blogging experience, how do you go about getting them? Well, there are lots of ways. Most of them don’t work. In the end, the best way is to blog for a while, even without that many visitors (except maybe Mom) to build up some content. While you’re doing that, visit other people’s blogs, and leave comments. Come back when they respond to your comments and comment again. Get involved in conversations on other blogs, always making sure to fill in your URL where appropriate. And even MORE important, when someone finally DOES come to your blog to comment, GO VISIT THEIR SITE! Building a community is a give and take thing. Concentrate on how awesome you feel when someone comments on your site, and go give them that same excitement. Your community will build, because other bloggers will be building a community as well, which will likely merge with your community, etc.

I tried sites where you “earn” visits from random viewers, and while you will get a spike in visits — none of them will stay. Same goes for the big sites like Digg. Yes, you get a HUGE spike in traffic if you get to the Digg front page, but 99.999% of those users don’t come back. Building a community is hard work, there aren’t really any shortcuts.

3) Site Stats

Many people tell you not to bother with hit counters, site trackers, traffic analyzers, etc. The theory is that it gets depressing to see low numbers, or that obsessing over numbers is unhealthy. Look, that’s great in theory, but watching stats is fun. I’d venture to say it’s even more fun when you have a small site, because you can look at individual visits. “Ooooh! I got a visitor from Poland that got here via a Google search on ‘toilet water’!”

I say install some site tracking software. (I prefer SiteMeter) Have fun. Creep out your Mom when you see that she visited 3 times in the morning by calling her and asking what she was hoping to find. Watch the weird Google searches that will land people to your site. It’s fun. Enjoy.

4) To Stick to a Topic, or Not

Blog about what you like to write about. Statistically, if you stick to a single topic (knitting? dog grooming?) you’re more likely to draw a steady readership. But if sticking to a topic doesn’t fulfill your writing desires, DON’T DO IT! I’m certain if I only blogged about Linux, I’d have a much larger group of readers. If I only blogged about technology in education, I’d have a much larger readership. Quite frankly, however, I’d rather blog about whatever tickles my fancy. If you’re blogging for fulfillment, DO WHAT FULFILLS YOU!

If you’re not blogging for personal fulfillment, but for cash? Well, good luck. The blogosphere is FLOODED with blogs, and there are very few making money. I sure don’t, but I wouldn’t trade in my website for the world. Well, maybe for the world. But still, I really like it.

5) Use Photos

They don’t have to be photos of you. They don’t have to be photos of your cat. The sad truth is, however, that we have a short attention span. Pictures are nice to look at, assuming they are in focus and load quickly. Heck, some blogs are nothing more than photos. That’s not my shtick, but it works for some. You don’t always need pictures, but it helps to spice up a blog when it contains some multimedia along with text. Also, something I have a TON of fun with on my personal blog is to hide messages in the “alternate text” or “title” fields in the image tags. The message pops up when a person hovers their mouse pointer over the photo, but doesn’t appear in the blog entry itself. Only a small percentage of your viewers will think to look for the messages, but those that do get a special treat. (And now, I’ve let the cat out of the bag, and everyone will look for messages on my photos — that’s OK, enjoy!)

6) Size Matters

Remember when I mentioned people have short attention spans? Yeah, well. It turns out if you go on lengthy diatribes (like this!) very often, people won’t read them. It helps to break up long blog entries into sections, but the reality is a new viewer will likely not care enough about what you have to say to read a long long LONG post. If you’ve read this far in my post, I’m flattered. Sometimes, you can “earn” a reader’s time by keeping them interested in what you’re saying long enough to read something of length, but if you post novels every day, your readers won’t read them. (This does not apply to actual writers whose blogs are an extension of their professional work — they get the luxury of loyal fans)

And here’s the deal: It’s OK to post something short. As writers we often think that if we don’t have X number of words, it’s not worth posting. Poppycock. There’s nothing wrong with short, intelligent blog entries.

7) A Break is Better than Crap

If you’re burned out and hate the thought of blogging: Don’t. If you’ve already built up a community (no matter how small), you might want to announce your hiatus. Heck, the encouraging comments you’ll likely get will help get rid of your burnout. It’s really a basic rule: If you’re blogging for fun, and you’re not having fun, change what you’re doing. If that means to take a break — do it. If that means to start recording some audio messages instead of writing — do it. If you’re not having fun, address it before you start to hate your blog. Maybe a simple theme change will help make your site feel fresh. I change my whole look about twice a year. Sometimes that change is enough to inspire me all over again.

My last bit of advice is just to write. If you’re a blogger, or soon to be blogger, it’s likely you’re that person (like me) that just needs to write. So do it. If no one but your mom ever reads what you write — ask yourself if that’s OK. It might be. People have been keeping diaries for centuries, and individuals have been writing in private for a lot longer than the Internet has been hosting blogs. If you’re a writer, write.

Since the first two goals were met, that means in the very near future (not today, it’s Monday around these parts) you’ll get some sort of short story or poem both typed and recited. As you can probably tell, I haven’t written the aforementioned piece yet. Thankfully, absurdity is one of my strong points so I’m hoping it’s a fun piece to write and read/hear.

Happy Monday!

Tiny, but cozy — Posted on Natuba

I know, it’s not much — but I have a specific spot that is my work zone. Even though it’s only a small corner, the fact that it’s separated with 3 walls makes it feel like its own little nook. I like that.

I’ll follow up later with finished photos. It’s actually pretty lame right now.

I can write some well thought out, interesting stuff — and get minimal diggs. I can write “off the cuff” nonsense, and get quite a few. Of course, never enough to get the highly sought after popular fanfare — but still, noticeably more.

For some reason, I’ve gotten my brain wrapped around an axle this week, and done my best to get “dugg” to the point of popularity. It never happened, and it was frustrating to boot. So, I figured I’d just go back to writing stuff for the sake of expressing my thoughts. I think I like it better that way.

So, how are you?

(And please Digg the article too, if you like it and know what Digg is…)

read more | digg story

I’m going to bring a video camera, and hopefully upload some footage and photos to the Linux Journal site (and maybe here too). If you’re going to be there, please be sure to look me up. We can be geeks together!

Blink/Sophie sat in as fetal a position as possible in the corner of a phone booth outside of Negworth, Amsterdam. Their recent merging was, of course, successful. Both minds were now in perfect harmony, and mostly open to one another. Therein started the awful realization.

“Blink, it’s so hard because our memories don’t line up exactly right. Is that because we interpreted the situations differently?”, thought Sophie.

“Well, normally I’d say yes”, thought Blink, “But our memory divergence goes far beyond what differing points of view would explain. Apart from our thread-bonded love and compassion, everything seems different in our pasts. Even our recent past.”

“Blink, we’ve both changed. I’m a little girl living in the head of… of… well, we’re in the same head!”

“I know sweetie, and I’m so happy to be merged with you.” Blink emoted love to Sophie. “Travel back in our memories though. I’m not even sure what a coconut is, and yet, you remember — no, experienced — us both living on them. Sophie, I’ve never been to a desert island.”

Blink could feel fear well up inside Sophie. Horrible scenes of Not-Sophie, emotions of pain, and crippling terror were flooding their consciousness.

“Sophie! Wait!” Blink solidified their thread-bond, and opened his entire consciousness to her. “I don’t want you to think I’m anything other than Blink. Sophie, you can see everything that I am. I love you. I can’t lie to you. I will not hurt or deceive you.” He could feel her calm down, and relaxed himself too.

Blink/Sophie worked together, slowly piecing together the horrible truth regarding the sterilization fleet. It was Sophie that first realized the fleet wasn’t destroying planets, but rather, terraforming the galaxy piece by piece into parallel universes in order to create the perfect Tragethen empire. Why destroy a planet, when enough dimensional shifting would bring forth a slave planet?

“Sophie!” thought-shouted Blink, “That explains their need for a dual mind!”

Blink/Sophie began to realize the futility in the way the Space Force was trying to defeat the Trageth. Amassing armies was pointless, and the SF officers with their single minds had no way of knowing the Trageth were just trying to keep them all busy. Just as Blink/Sophie started to plan their next move, the phone booth seemed to change.

The downside is that I started working at Linux Journal a couple years too late. April Fool’s website spoofs aren’t nearly as popular as they once were, so the word didn’t get out like it might have even as little as one year ago. Still, it was incredibly fun, and for the most part was taken well by the audience. I particularly enjoyed writing the absurd little “articles” that posted on the front page. They’re very short, and linked below if anyone wants to see them:

• Video explaining the editorial shift
• Go Purple for Pentium Pro
• BeOS – The King of Recycling
• Antiquated Hardware Revitalized, Not Happy
• Bloggers are Bonkers for BeOS!
• BeOS Cluster Goes Live
• Sony Rumored to Buy BeOS
• NYC Subways Embed BeOS
• Operating System Programmers Flock to BeOS

The funniest part of the day was that a comment on the youtube video appreciated my humor, and thought my geeky hairdo was “staged” for the spoof. Uh… That’s just how my hair looks.

Thanks to all that played along, and thanks to Linux Journal for allowing my idea to overtake the website.

Link to Sophie from Shinola, Part 1 (The story starts halfway down the page)

Sophie from Shinola, Part 2:

Objectively, Sophie knew that the real SpaceForce wasn’t all adventure and excitement, but compared to Chenolla VI, anything had to be an improvement. “Jeez”, she thought, “What’s taking so long?”

It was easy enough to take this little girl’s body over, but over the past few months, the Trageth officer had begun to sympathize with her “family” on Chenolla VI. Why aren’t these idiots preparing for the battle? Yes, the Space Force is powerful, but they can’t defend all the human planets at once. When the sterilization fleet comes to this planet, the best defense the humans will have is fishing poles!

All the preparations were made in the beryllium mine, and the accelerated decay was already spewing beryllium ions into subspace, signaling the start of the first wave. If Sophie didn’t get accepted into the Space Force, and off this planet, she would die with all the stupid fishermen.

“Why are they making us wait, Mom?” Sophie muttered, nervously.

“They’re warming up the brain remover, dear.” Said her mother, as she casually flipped a page in her magazine.

Sophie panicked, and almost suicidally released the real Sophie to avoid the torture herself. After a moment, however, she realized the mother was playing the human lying game. Some humans lied like this more than others, but Sophie’s mother was particularly evil. The past few months had taught her how to deal with situations like this, but with her current stress regarding the interview, she momentarily slipped. Thankfully, the mother hadn’t noticed.

“Shut up, Mom, they already removed my brain in school.”

“Nice, Soph. Nice.” her mother chuckled.

It was reasons like that which required the humans to be destroyed. They lied to their own nestlings! How could they ever be trusted as allies? Sophie was even more determined to get accepted into the Space Force and help destroy these evil creatures. They’re so seductive! So many times I’ve wanted to suggest a peace negotiation, and then they lie for nothing more than evil pleasure!

“Mom, what are you and Dad going to do when I go off to the Space Force?” Sophie asked.

“Oh, I think we’ll be fine, dear. The one I’m really worried about is Blink. Are you sure you don’t want him to stay here? No one is really sure if they can survive off planet, and you might not see him for months.”

The second thing that happened was a bunch of people got offended. Unfortunately, there was a subset of those people that truly shouldn’t have been offended, because I wasn’t talking about them at all. I make no apologies, but I realize not everyone knows all the details. Even those directly involved. Since I can’t publicly give specific details (I’d very likely get sued. Really.), I will tell a story. Below is the parable of the Raccoons and the Brussels Sprouts.

Once upon a time, there was a family of raccoons. This family lived near a fancy restaurant, and would often have a well balanced meal in the evening. The restaurant was really upscale, and its patrons were frivolous spenders. Due to the vast quantities of leftovers, the raccoon family was able to eat meat, pasta, veggies, fruit: Everything a raccoon would ever need.

Then one day, the restaurant burned down. All the rich patrons went elsewhere, and the poor raccoon family started to struggle. They were a wise and frugal family, so for a while, their reserve food kept them healthy. Unfortunately, the restaurant owners never rebuilt. After a while, even the stores of food weren’t enough. Some raccoons had to leave. Some even died. It was a very sad time in the raccoon family.

Then, a farmer moved into the vacant property where the restaurant used to stand. The farmer grew a variety of vegetables, but his main crop was Brussels Sprouts. It turned out he was able to grow Brussels Sprouts very efficiently, because the ashes from the burned down restaurant provided fertilizer that Sprouts thrived in. Unfortunately, the raccoons didn’t like Brussels Sprouts. They were used to a well balanced diet, and Brussels Sprouts alone weren’t enough. They were part of a balanced diet — but the raccoons knew they wouldn’t be able to thrive like they had in years past.

In fact, the raccoons began to despise the farmer. They were angry because all he grew were Brussels Sprouts. Sprouts weren’t nearly as tasty. Surely, with only Brussels Sprouts, they would all perish. They ate them, because they had no choice, but the raccoons were not happy.

Meanwhile, the farmer tried to grow a few other crops, but he really couldn’t afford much else. As it were, the farmer bought the field in the first place, because he really liked raccoons, and wanted to do everything he could to keep them alive. Few raccoons realized that. He kept planting Brussels Sprouts, because he knew they could live if they ate them — but the raccoons kept getting angrier. The farmer and the raccoons couldn’t speak to each other, of course, so both the raccoons and the farmer got frustrated.

A few years went by, and the raccoons started to see that although they lost some weight, they were able to live relatively healthy on Brussels Sprouts. In fact, some raccoons even liked the Sprouts. About half of the raccoon family even went to the farmer’s house and scratched at the door to get the farmer to give them more Brussels Sprouts. The farmer soon was planting more and more Brussels Sprouts to keep up with demand! He got to see the raccoons preparing Brussels Sprouts in different ways, and he was very impressed with their creativity.

Sadly, a part of the raccoons that scratched for more Sprouts ended up piling them in a corner. Those Brussels Sprouts began to smell bad. Even though they wanted the extra Sprouts, the raccoons blamed the farmer for the smell. They told other raccoons that they never wanted Brussels Sprouts in the first place. The smell leaked into all the raccoon houses, and all the raccoons forgot that it was those very Brussels Sprouts that had been keeping them alive for so long.

So what was the farmer to do? The raccoons that scratched at his door for more Sprouts were now angry because they had them. The raccoons that were happily eating their share of Sprouts were getting irritated by the smell of the rotting vegetables coming from the other raccoon’s houses. The farmer got angry because he had invested everything he had into a Brussels Sprout farm to keep the raccoon family alive, and all they did was hiss at him. Some would even bite him.

The farmer began to dislike raccoons in general. Not all of the raccoons were mean, but when all the farmer saw day in and day out were hissing, biting raccoons — he had a hard time trusting any of them. He still grew Brussels Sprouts, and he still fed raccoons, because he’d made a commitment to himself to feed them. Sadly, however, he found little joy in farming any more. If it weren’t for his friends, family, and hobbies — the farmer would probably just have moved away and let the raccoons fend for themselves.

In the end, the farmer kept feeding the raccoons. He’d share his frustrations with his family and friends occasionally, because he was unable to speak raccoon. He figured that even if the raccoons thought he was mean for feeding them Brussels Sprouts, at least he was helping them stay alive.

The End.

I thought I’d put a link up to 1200 words of fiction that I wrote. I don’t think it sucks, and I hope to actually make a story from it. Hopefully someday I’ll figure out what it is about fiction that kicks my butt so.

Second, we just read, as a family, the whole Spiderwick series. There are 5 books in the set, and they are a very quick, very fun read. They are the sort of book that just begs to be read out loud to kids. Thankfully, it’s fast paced and fun — so it’s fun for the whole family, even our youngest. (She just turned 7)

Something that tickled my fancy, but was sort of a bummer for the kids, is that the books are WAY better than the movie. They noticed this. Very quickly. Also, they noticed how drastically different the movie was from the book. Again, all wonderful things for children to realize, because now they might actually see the advantage to books.

Don’t take that as a shot at the movie. The movie itself was awesome. Great special effects, great plot, fast action (no boring beginning, the action starts pretty early on). The kids, and their parents, truly liked the film. It might be a bit scary for particularly young children, but it’s not TOO bad. Nothing a hug from Mom wasn’t able to make all better during those scenes.

Looking at the credits, the 2 book authors were (I think) executive directors, or producers, or one of those fancy “we’re involved” titles. I think that’s really good, but it must have been heartbreaking for them at the same time. They had to butcher the books quite a bit. I don’t think they made any bad choices (apart from Hogsqueal, his character in the book is done soooooo much better), but lots of changes were made.

Anyway, I heartily recommend the movie, and forcibly urge you to read the books. If you have kids, read the books out loud to them. They will like it, and so will you.

I’m talking about more than tomato and tomato. (See? It doesn’t really translate to text) But product names, company names, etc. can be crazy. Add that to regional differences, and I either sound like an uncultured hick (largely true), or a snooty Yankee (eh, not so much).

Have you ever thought about pronunciation? It’s a funny beast.

Anyway, these are the things I’m pondering lately. I can’t give many details. It’s fair to say, however, that it’s not idle musings, but rather legitimate ponder fodder.

Cool.

So, I proceeded to type “mellon” as the username and password. It didn’t work, so I tried, “Mellon” which didn’t work either. Then I tried, “melon” which is really elvish for “I Love” but could easily been confused. Nope. “Melon”? Nope.

Frustrated, I turned to google, to check my spelling, and I couldn’t find any other spellings. So, defeated, I IM’d him back, “Ok, how did you spell ‘Mellon’ ?”

To which he replied, “What is Mellon?”

I chuckled at myself, typed “friend” as the username and password, and got right in. It’s not the first time I’ve been the geekiest person in the room, and I’m sure it won’t be the last…

(Confused? Here ya go.)

Oh, I’m not going as the official Linux Journal “Gadget Guy” — but I will probably be wearing a Linux Journal hat or something. I kinda like those guys.

If you’ll be there, look me up. You know what I look like. My blog is chock full of narcissistic photos of myself… If you’re not there, feel free to look me up, but I’ll be at the Penguicon, so you’ll have a much harder time finding me.

So my creativity is limited today. Apparently my creativity is stored inside my left shoulder. Who knew. I did post something Linuxy over at Linux Journal today. It’s titled, “Why Are People So Crazy About Linux?” Feel free to click through if you like, it may be all I muster today.

Or, I might get bored and post like a mad fool in a few hours. You just never know.

Oh, and I didn’t do too bad today with eating. I did horrible with exercise though, in that I did none. Oh well, it’s a processes, not a quick fix.

G’Night!

So sure, maybe one day I’ll have a book assignment, and I’ll have to write it. John Scalzi has a deadline this month to finish his current book. I have to admit, I’m a little jealous. Yeah, I could easily “assign” myself a deadline, but really, I’m smart enough that I can’t quite fool myself that way. My recent failure at the NaNoWriMo is just another example. Oh well, I’m not terribly old yet. Hopefully one of these days I’ll get around to doing what I claim I want to do for a living. I just need to quit writing blog entries explaining away my lack of novel, and write one!

Oh, and that picture on the fake book is freaky. I’m just sayin.

Don’t get me wrong, lots of people dislike me. I’ve been called names that would make sailors blush (and there are a couple Navy folks that read my blog, yes, you’d blush). Those people, however, have reasons to hate me. I may not agree with their reasoning, but at least they have something to claim I’ve done to them.

It gets wacky when people randomly email you, or comment on youtube, or attempt to make you look dumb in public somewhere. Even that I can handle to an extent. The thing that I find interesting is when people assume that if someone has managed to get published somewhere, that those people must be arrogant, rich, self-absorbed ignoramuses. Because in order to get someone to pay you for your creation, you must have cut corners somewhere. All geniuses are undiscovered, and must die poor and alone, right? How dare I risk embarrassment and ask a publisher to accept my creation as professional quality. I must be really arrogant to think my stuff is better than those that aren’t published.

Guess what? I DON’T! Crimeny, I’m more insecure about the things I do than anyone I know. (My suspicion is that everyone feels that way, whether they admit it or not) If you don’t like what I do, then don’t read/watch/listen to it. If you’re a publisher, just don’t buy it. (Unsurprisingly, I’ve never gotten a, “You suck” response from a publisher, they generally have better things to do)

Oh, and if you don’t like this blog post, feel free to email me about how much I suck. I have a special place for those emails, snuggled up next to the male enhancement offers I get. )

I’m Linux Journal‘s new, “Gadget Guy” — and I do video reviews of products for them. The first video is up, and depending on the feedback they get, I will be a continuous feature on the Linux Journal website. So like, go watch it and stuff. And tell your friends. And neighbors. And people you meet at the grocery store. And tell the Santa at the mall. Email your congressman a link.

Well, at least go watch it. It’s not a dry product review, I promise. Just click on the picture above.

Foolish mortals…

If you are interested in Linuxy things, stop by and call me names in the comments threads. Here’s a link.

UPDATE: Oh, and for the first time in my life, I can say “Union” without getting a little vomit in the back of my throat. It’s nice.

(Novel is going very slowly, and the site redesign wasn’t just me procrastinating, it’s something I’d been working on a while. )

Anyway, today, we had an after school gaming program. Thankfully, I just happen to have some recent experience on some free multiplayer games. Yep, there was a lab full of kids playing open source games, and loving it. No, they weren’t using Linux — but hey, baby steps. At least all the students are familiar with Linux!

It went great, and it’s tied into tutoring of At-Risk kids, so it’s a win-win situation. Well, I didn’t win much, but the kids do.

UPDATE: Huh, 3 links to Linux Journal in one post. I’m feeling a bit like a fan boy. Here: Have a couple other links not related to Linux. (BTW, that Garfield comic is one of my favorites!)

Hope you all are doing well.

My characters actually came to life a bit, and it was really fun watching them interact. I’m sure there will be drudgery, but I had so much fun today, that it will hopefully be worth it in the end.

Good night all!

The catch? Well, for one, that is a lot of writing! Two, you’re not allowed to go back and edit, etc. The whole point is to GET ‘ER DONE. Since my inner critic is so nasty, he’s stopped every other novel writing attempt at about 150 words. I keep going over and over and over that initial 150 words, and never get any further.

Hopefully, I’ll be able to keep the bass turd at bay, and get the novel done. It’s about 1,667 words a day, including Thanksgiving, so I should get started!!! (If I post less often, now you know why. I’ll try to update on my progress though. Feel free to spurn me along.)

I’ve wanted to be a writer for literally longer than I can remember. Writing is that thing that gives me the most fulfillment. When I wake up in the morning, I think about being a writer. Likewise, when I go to sleep at night, I usually drift off dreaming about it. Even though it seems like I’m being melodramatic, I’m actually being completely serious!

Many of you know that I’ve recently been published in a magazine. It’s really quite awesome, and I think the relationship with Linux Journal might grow into something more. (I can’t really discuss details, but it’s pretty exciting stuff) I’m also trying to write at least a first draft of a fiction novel this winter. Needless to say, I’ve started down that scary road of dream fulfillment.

Here’s the part that threw me for a loop: The failure I’m worried about has nothing to do with finances. I’m not quitting my day job, and if I never make another penny writing, it won’t matter a whole lot to my family financially. We’re fine. However, if I write a book, and it sucks — then what?!?! The risk is that my dreams will crumble. I never realized just how significant that would be to me. See, a dream is exciting, but a reality is, well, pretty real. If I never try, the dream stays intact, but if I go for it, the dream might just fall apart.

The encouraging thing is that it turns out I’m actually a decent word-putter-togetherer. There is still the risk of failure, but I finally see that following any dream takes courage — because the risk of failure is always there! In my case, it’s not financial failure, but a crushed dream is almost harder to stomach than losing a job.

What a scary and exciting time in my life. Thanks for sharing it with me.

Third person means I tell a story about someone else.
Limited means that as the narrator, I only know what the current character knows.
Limited also means that I don’t actually talk to the reader, but rather the character’s actions and words tell the story.

That format is the most common, and supposedly the easiest to write in. Quite frankly, however, it’s kicking my butt. So I read up a bit on other narrative voices, etc. I read about third person omniscient. That’s like third person limited, but you’re not limited to a single character’s perspective. Basically, you get to float around like God and see in everyone’s head, etc. I like that.

The downside is that writing in third person omniscient requires really good writing, because it’s harder to develop individual characters. The advantages, I hope, will outweigh that for me. I guess we’ll just see. Here’s what I see as the advantages that play into my hand as a writer:

1) I get to be all-knowing. That’s always nice.
2) I can address the reader, because I’m separated a bit from each character. I’m telling a story more than showing the story.
3) I don’t have to beat around the bush regarding details. I can show a character’s limited view, but I’m not limited to it myself.

It makes it more difficult to make characters that readers will care about, but hopefully I’ll be able to pull it off. At the very least, I hope my writing will flow easier, even if the end product isn’t very good.

I’ve had some lapses, like recently work has been really rough. I think that 4 things have kept me pretty regular for a while now:

1) Paying for my site. Now that I’ve invested some dough into the thing, it helps me prioritize it a bit. Plus, it’s a lot cooler to say, “Go to http://www.brainofshawn.com” than it is to give out a blogspot address. (Not that there’s anything wrong with blogspot — I’m just saying.)

2) ANY sort of readership. I only have like 15 people that regularly read my blog, but the fact that they do regularly visit my blog, and give a rip what I have to say, makes it more exciting. Looking at stats can be depressing and exciting both.

3) Personally, I let myself write ANYTHING I please. I know that limits the traffic I generate, but it helps me in that I’m not worried about being “on topic”, etc. Again, this is a tactic I use to keep blogging, not to generate traffic.

4) As small as it is now, I plan to use my blog as a marketing tool when I begin to publish some books. I figure everyone starts somewhere, so I might as well do it now. John Scalzi’s Whatever started small, and it’s helping him sell books now. I like that thought.

I’m going to bed now. I need that 3 hours of sleep, you know, so I can function and stuff. G’Night everyone.

Trust me.

Build Your Own Arcade Game, and Relive the 80s

Thin Clients Rock

The first is geeky fun, the second is much more geeky, but still fun. Enjoy!

The first article appears in the “Up Front” section, on page 16. It’s all about our school’s transition to Linux thin clients. It’s actually a pretty great story if you are a Linux fan, and should be required reading if you’re planning a migration to penguin power for your place of employment/schooling/etc.

The second article, which also happens to be the cover story (Yay!) is on page 38. It’s a how-to article about building your own arcade machine. I’m pretty excited about both articles, and even more excited that it’s the first time I’ve been published!

Thanks Linux Journal, and thanks to Jill Franklin, the Executive Editor, who helped me immensely with the process. Also, thanks to John Scalzi, who blogged about my victory as well.

That got me to wondering, is it possible some of the best Science Fiction writing is being written now? I know the greats are the greats, but it would seem an author wouldn’t have to be old and/or dead in order to be a giant in SciFi. For example, Isaac Azimov was a pioneer of robot stories, but he wasn’t known for his storytelling and plot development.

I’m so thankful for the Hugo, Nebula, Campbell, etc, etc. It’s so wonderful to experience new writer’s work, and with all the choices out there, the award winning ones are a good place to start.

Now I feel like I should go write a bit…

Now I have to get started on that &*#^$ book…

I haven’t started my book either. It may seem silly, but a novel is a huge undertaking, and “where to begin” is tough. It’s also a completely different mindset, since we’re talking about something so long. I think I’m going to allow my first book to be a “practice novel.” That way, if it totally sucks, I can tell myself it doesn’t matter, because it was just practice. To be honest, the idea of a practice novel isn’t really mine. Agent to the Stars was a “practice novel” that eventually got published.

Well, I have lots of books to read, so I’m going to read a few chapters, and then take a nap. Maybe I’ll try to write a couple thousand words on my novel too. Time will tell.

Seriously though, writing a novel is a different beast. I’m thinking about characterization, plot, etc. I know I have the writing ability, I know I have a great idea — the next part is the moxy to put it together. Generally, writers are not shy on ideas. Heck, everyone has great ideas for science fiction books. The problem isn’t with writing ability either. Lots of people can write. That just leaves the moxy.

Over the next , we’ll see how the process goes. I’ll even write about it here. The process. Maybe the book too, who knows.

Well, wish me luck. Maybe updating my imagined audience about the process of book writing will motivate me. My hope is that I’ll be motivated by the story, and I’ll want to see how it ends.

I guess this is day one. Today, I’m researching characterization a bit, to help avoid common pitfalls. My luck, I’ll discover some common pitfalls I’d have never fallen into in the first place. Oh well.

Yay!

Let’s face it, there are are a lot of books out there. A lot. Many, if not most, of them are good. Yes, there may be an occasional book that you hate — but really, that’s just you. Someone likes it. So for someone picking books to read, it’s difficult. I hate to admit, but more often than not, the title and cover art are what sell a book to me. Maybe a cool author name too. That makes me sad.

Here’s the real deal — Scalzi is a very accessible author. He’ll return your email. He’ll send you a free autographed book. (Well, maybe not, but he’ll let you download some books for free, so that’s something.) He’s someone that I want to support, not only as an author, but as a family man supporting a wife and child. It’s his willingness to be accessible that brings out that desire in me.

What does that have to do with hardcovers? Simple. I only buy hardcover books when I want to support the author, and not just read the book. If it weren’t for John Scalzi’s website, and Wil Wheaton’s blog — I’d never own hardcover books they wrote.

No, it’s not fair, but it’s true. Writers need to know that, and if Scalzi becomes SFWA president, at least the SF&F ones will hear it. Unfortunately, there is more to being a writer than writing.

The ironic part is that I submitted the final draft of the article I’m writing for Linux Journal. I had a professional review it for me. I edited it myself. I read it out loud to my poor wife (who graciously listened). Tragically, somewhere between copy and paste, (3) grammatical errors slipped in!!! And I already submitted the final draft!!!

Oh cruel fate, how you mock me…

I recently wrote a few myself, and I have to admit, it’s really fun. The one thing I’ve noticed about the site though, is there there are a lot of people in the world that are really bad writers! I’m not saying I’m Ernest Hemingway, but some are really bad.

Anyway, stop by and check it out. It’s very different from blog writing, and that alone is a good reason to try it.

A few weeks ago, I sent a query letter to Linux Journal regarding an article I’d like to write for them. I won’t go into any detail regarding the content, because it might be breaching some contract if I do. Anyway, I heard back from them, and they wish for me to write the article! I even have a deadline, which for some reason makes it feel more like the real deal.

They’re under no contract to publish the article, because for all they know I might be a horrible writer that had his wife write the query letter. Nonetheless, they asked for the article, so you can bet your boots I’m writing it.

Another cool part? If they publish it, I actually get money for writing! I have no idea if I’m allowed to discuss the amount publicly, but rest assured, it’ll buy a whole bunch of Diet Coke!

Wish me luck everyone, I’m more excited than I care to admit.

UPDATE: For those of you unfamiliar with John’s work, the video will make very little sense…

I’ve been talking to Donna about writing professionally for quite some time. Ok, more than “quite some time” — it’s been more like the entire 13 years I’ve known her. I always go on about how I’d like to be a writer, how it’s what I wake up thinking about in the morning, and what I go to bed thinking about at night. Yeah, I get pretty melodramatic. Anyway, after reading John Scalzi’s post on becoming a professional (meaning “getting paid”) writer, I ordered my copy of Writer’s Market, and started the rejection process.

I think that a good writer is someone that can get their thoughts into words. Thoughts don’t suffer from repetitive word usage, grammar problems, etc. Thoughts are so non-linear, drifting, creative things, that writing them down is the art form, not dreaming them up in the first place. How I long for the Vulcan mind meld technology to surpass the current day voice recognition.

Anyway, I have to be careful, or this will become writing, and I’m convinced that I’m unable to write right now. Good night everyone. Maybe I’ll dream up the words to describe the beautiful snowfall we had today.

–20 minutes of pacing the house, etc–

See, here I am again. Couldn’t sleep. Still can’t write. It’s terribly depressing when the tool you use to express yourself is broken. I have an almost palpable weight in my chest. It’s like my heart is a little too heavy. Usually I’d resort to some snarky comment, or shallow but humorous diatribe about some equally shallow topic. (Restaurant spikes anyone?) I think the trouble I’m really having is that I realize my writing reflects what I want people to see rather than what is really down deep in my soul. Nothing rings true like truth. I should put that on a T-Shirt or something.

Why can’t I write what’s really inside me? Maybe because I’m afraid I’m really not that interesting. I can make things interesting, but I think deep down I’m afraid that if I were to write for real, REALLY REAL, it wouldn’t be very good. In other words, expose my soul only to find my soul is rather ordinary. If I write superficially, it can be fun to read, and fun to write — but it’s safe. If I write about my inadequacies, fears, inner conflicts, secret self-esteem issues, contradicting core beliefs, etc — it’s scary. There are things I don’t even think about, much less write about.

So is that what a good writer does? Expose their soul? Does it take a special kinda soul to be a great writer? If I’m afraid to be real in my writing, how can I expect anyone to connect with it? Writing is like standing naked in a huge room of fully dressed beauty pageant judges. The possibility of applause is so easy to squelch with the horrifying reality that even one of those judges won’t like the way you look.

Maybe this post, which will be read by half a dozen people at most, is the first step toward being a good writer. Writing is so much more than grammar and spelling. I want to experience it to the fullest. Maybe this paranoid, depressed, writers-blockism is all a part of it. Time will tell. For now, I’ll waffle a bit about whether to click “Publish” or “Delete.”