Great Sermon by the way.

I wish you well. This is a subject where I have little knowledge, only opinion. As Erich sort of said above — push through and start training/exploring “The New Brain of Shawn”.

Regards,

Erick

There were those things that I had previously pursued in my life because I enjoyed them and then there were those things I did because the provided an endorphin boost or a more ineffable sense of self. I finally asked myself, “What do I ‘want’ to do if I don’t ‘have’ to do ‘X.’” For my part, I was music major, composer and a musician. I found that I could, if I wished walked away from music and it would not be the end the world or even my sense of identity and it left me free to actually enjoy what I was doing.

That said, having found the help needed to level the playing field with other folks in the world, I had to learn to play the same game that they do. Self discipline. Creativity is a discipline, I eventually learned. Those of us who have struggled with intractable depression eventually managed to orient our lives to serve our drive to create. At the point that I was no longer subservient to the creativity, I learned bring it under our own control and make it serve my purposes. In time.

One thing that doctors will tell addicts is when they go off their drug of choice, is that it will take some time to for the body to start producing endorphins again. I think the same principle apply when adjusting to life without depression. Real creativity took a while to return to me. I think he was bit mad with me.

So…

First, give yourself a break and give yourself time. You may also find that, without the ever-present darkness, your passions have… metamorphosized, still the same in essence, though different in expression. You’ve only been leveling out for only, what? Four months? After how many year (decades?) of roller-coasters? It’s going to take time.

Second, learn the disciplines required to live the new normal. With writing as it was for me with music, for instance, you MAY find that you have to sit down and write a bunch of crap to train your brain chemistry to sit up and take notice. I realized that this sounds a bit like, “suck it up boy,” but there is SOME truth to it, eventually: “Waaah! I can’t be creative because I’m not suffocating a life-threatening/soul-sucking/widow-making brick-load-heavy-wet-wool blanket of self-loathing and despair.

Third, I have good news. With a reasonably stable brain chemistry, you have a whole new set of tools at your disposal – persistence, stability and (I’m guessing here) a new form of patience. These will serve you well in your creative endeavors, young padawan.

One last note. I still don’t like crowds, either. But that’s just because other people in the world don’t know to sit calmly, talk quietly and only get up from their assigned chairs, one at a time. AND WHY ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE IN MY HOUSE ANYWAY!?!? GO HOME!!! I WANT TO PLAY SKYRIM!!!

I hope this helps. I just read over it and it sounds like pop-psychology physco-babble. Eeew. Disregard it all.

I’ve been feeling a lot of the same type of things lately (sans medication). I think I’m burned out. Too much work. Not enough being silly. You’re silliness is an inspiration for many of us. I don’t think you’ve lost your mojo, even if you think you have.

I’m sitting here after midnight, on thanksgiving, watching rocky horror picture show. You can out-goof that. Have fun, you always do.

Oh, and happy thanksgiving. Or black friday now, I guess.

I do, in fact, know precisely what you are saying. As you’ve mentioned before, I’ve been quite open about my struggles with anxiety/depression/ocd and–like you–seem to have come upon the correct pharmaceutical dosage to keep me stable.

And I also have been unable to write for several years.

But, I also remember quite clearly what life is like when I’m not being appropriately treated–I’m a self-destructive mess, and almost unbearable to be around.

It’s easy, when things are going well, to forget past struggles, and think they won’t happen again. But I know that for *me* going off meds is not an option. I might be okay for a year or two, but sooner or later it’ll all come back. With me, it always does.

So I don’t write. I’m boring.

But you know what? I’m OK with that.

This decision is one you have to make for yourself, but you should make it with a significant amount of discussion with your doctor and with Donna as to what the possible repercussions could be. Because right now, at this point in your life, what you do does not affect just you.

I fear this came off as bitchy, which was not my intent. I hope you know that I love you and will support you whatever you do. Just make sure you fully consider all possible outcomes.

Good luck.

I haven’t had meds since 2009, by choice. I couldn’t stand the dead feeling 24/7 for years. Now it just comes and goes, generally within a couple of months. But last year was a tough one because I was spending time re-evaluating **everything** in my life, thanks to a serious health scare.

I don’t have anything important to say here, except maybe the one thing that everyone needs to know: You’re heard. You’re understood. You’re not alone.

♥

my 5th grade math teacher’s sign on the wall

Thanks
Andrew Willy

Rumor has it there’s a new Nexus coming out pretty soon, though. The only negatives I have found so far are the battery life (although from what I understand, that is just the way it is with Android), and the fact that it doesn’t have expandable storage – all you get is 16GB.

Having lived (and lost) through the sudden closings of several subscription-based services, I have come to view the sudden reduction in a pre-paid service as a bad sign. Especially, when employees of the service say things like “I’ve known was coming for a while now”.

In the LJ forums, the webmistress has had to engage in some damage control over that last remark, saying that you didn’t mean that you *knew* about the changes for a long time, but only that you had a feeling that the “industry” was moving in this direction.

It is, in part, this “clarity” of information that has left me with a bad feeling about this move to 100% digital. Never mind that I don’t like reading magazines on my digital devices. Never mind that I purposely paid for a hardcopy subscription when I had the option of choosing digital. Never mind that Linux Journal entered into an (at least implicit) contract to provide hardcopies as part of that subscription. Let’s concentrate on the fact that several writers for LJ have publicly stated that they knew that this change was coming for a long time. That alone doesn’t give me a good feeling, no matter what spin your webmistress puts on it.

As I said, I’ve lived (and lost) through the demise of several subscription-based services. In each case, the companies (some large, some small) “saw it coming”. In each case, they drastically reduced their delivery of the prepaid service, usually only weeks before terminating their business in insolvency.

So, if the LJ situation goes like I expect, I too will have the opportunity to say that I knew “was coming for a while”, with the demise of the Linux Journal. I’d like to *not* have that opportunity, but I see it coming.

And rather than again lose my investment in a pre-paid service that goes belly-up, this time I’m taking no chances. LJ hasn’t given me a reason to stay, and plenty of reasons to go, so I’m going.

To you and the rest of the LJ staff and contributors, I say “Thank you for all the hard work, interesting and educational information, and over a decade of solid print.” I will miss all of you.

I’ve subscribed to LJ since the last millennium and I simply do not appreciate being left in the dark until the switch had already occurred. I, just like many others, LIKE having a hardcopy of the magazine and feel robbed by the demise of the print edition. I’m not saying that I’d be happy with the switch if I had been given some advance notice, but at least I wouldn’t be angry about the way it was handled on top of being disappointed at the demise of the print edition. You’re talking about the negative feedback as if you’re surprised…but why would you be? Don’t you see that LJ has let down its loyal customer base by springing the news on us after the fact? For me it’s not just about being unhappy that I’ll no longer have the “oh good! Linux Journal arrived today!” feeling each month, but being disillusioned by the way LJ handled the whole situation. I expected better from such a fine company.

73,
Arturo.

I’ve been a Linux Journal reader for many years, it’s the only magazine I’ve subscribed to for years and I read it cover-to-cover every month. I took it to LUG meetings and convinced others it was a worthwhile investment of their time and money. I got in the habit of folding down the corners of pages that mentioned interesting software or other references so that the next time I was at my computer I could look up those references.

You seem surprised by the amount of negative feedback or perhaps by the vehemence of that negative feedback. Though I can only speak for myself I feel fairly confident the reason for my strong negative reaction is shared by many, many other readers: we too love Linux Journal – we’re angry that we’re losing something we enjoy and looked forward to every month.

I think the way this switch to a digital only format was handled is also a significant cause of anger among subscribers. We had no inkling that something like this was about to happen. It was as if we went to a nice restaurant, ordered sirloin steaks and baked potatoes and then the waiter brought us peanut butter and jelly sandwiches instead with the explanation that the restaurant made the decision to only serve PB&J’s shortly after we placed our order for steaks.

For many of us an electronic version is simply not a viable option. Like the majority of tech folks I spend entirely too much time behind a monitor. I have a wife, two daughters and an infant son whom I prefer to spend time with. Having a physical magazine allowed me to leave this computer to spend time with my family and also enjoy the fruits of your (and everyone else at LJ) labor. I don’t have any kind of portable reader and based on my research the digital publishing world still hasn’t figured out a viable business model (some publishers simply don’t offer their wares in digital format while others price e-books at the same or even higher price than their hardback versions – and don’t get me started on all that DRM stuff…).

I appreciate the time and effort everyone at Linux Journal has put into the magazine, there are only a handful of magazines I’ve ever considered to have consistently high quality to be worthy of subscribing. I hope that LJ survives this transition. Perhaps some day in the future when I feel like e-readers and the digital publishing industry have matured I’ll subscribe to Linux Journal once again, until then though – here is where we part ways.

What can I say (as a person): good luck, we hope that we can go on!

For the chronicle, I wrote a private message to some of you but maybe inundated with messages or other I had no answer. I also launched an online survey on LinkedIN http://t.co/ZUv5PRe few votes, maybe someone who thinks positively from here and vote!

73,
Arturo.

Amazing voice (actually, Chris was good, too). And as a guitar player myself I love seeing folks actually using their instrument as their own accompaniment. Karaoke is fun for a while, but hey, this is real.

Awesome job, both of them.

2. For the YouTube widget: Random is better here (and, now that I think about it, more in keeping with your Shawn-ness).

3. I am mainly fine aside from a minor mental disorder which causes me to mistake your last line for an honest question.

I’m sorry for your problem there. Sounds like your db backup us trying to declare two primary keys. Look in the .sql file for the words PRIMARY KEY

Your honeymoon/vacation is being directed by J.J. Abrams?

Have a most fantastic time, you two crazy kids!

view this site: http://howtokillgermanroaches.blogspot.com/2008/06/how-to-kill-roaches-naturally.html

But I guess I can try and do something silly side by side! Let’s see

Right now I am wearing flowered Doc Martens and pink and black flowered socks, as well as a shirt with Ada Lovelace on it.

And it’s not even 10 AM!

Myself? I’ve been staying up late, this time until past midnight, trying to demystify obscure behaviors of HTML tables and being caught in the middle of tweetstorms over vi vs. emacs. So: I have been doing nothing truly silly. Sorry.

Okay, that was really cute and sweet. Hi, Mom!

And check out a recipe for figgy pudding and you still won’t trust it.

- MD