Remember those “Hot Blogger” calendars I blogged about? The ones that yours truly graces November in? Well, it turns out that if you buy one by clicking through from my site, I get a kickback. I had forgotten about that, until today, when two things happened. One, I got a note from the calendar selling place saying that 3 calendars had been sold from my site. I made $6. The second thing was that Jane emailed telling me that between now and Dec. 31st, my “cut” goes from $2 a calendar to $4.

That got me thinking. First off, I like the idea of the Hot Blogger Calendar. It showcases folks that are “Hot” for more than just their physical hotness. I want them to succeed. I’m not comfortable trying to sell calendars that *I* am in, however. It just makes me feel icky. So here’s my plan:

(A note for my vegan friends: if you decide to buy a calendar, and want to make sure your money doesn’t go toward a cow — let me know and I’ll make sure it goes toward the purchase of a tree seedling through heifer.org)

Any monies I receive from calendars sold through this site from now until Dec 31 will be used to purchase a cow for those in need. I’ll be using a very reputable charitable organization: Heifer International. I realize this is a rough time of year for people to donate to charities, even those that are really worthwhile. So I figured some incentive was in order. (Yes, I realize you’d get a calendar with me as Mr. November, but I was thinking something a little more, well, entertaining.)

If we get enough to buy a portion of a cow ($50, or 13 calendars):
I will write and post a poem or short story about a cow. I have no idea which, nor do I have any idea what the story would be about apart from said cow — but I’d do my best to make it absurd and fun.

If we get enough to buy (2) portions of a cow ($100, or 25 calendars):
I will do a dramatic reading of the poem/short story. Depending on how the story goes, I’ll be sure to use the appropriate voices. I’d expect a British cow with a horrible accent.

If we get enough to buy a whole cow ($500, or 125 calendars):
I will do a cow inspired music video, and post it for all to see. I think THIS music will be what I’ll use. I’m embarrassed just thinking about it.

So there ya go. Click here to buy a calendar. It counts if you get the girl blogger calendar too. No need to just get the guys. Heck, if you don’t want a calendar, you can always just donate money directly to the “make Shawn dance like a cow” fund via paypal. There’s really no way for me to guarantee I’m not a swindler trying to take your money — but deep down, you know I want to do the cow video, so it’s fairly safe to assume I won’t be fudging the books. Just go to PayPal.com, click “Send Money”, and send money to paypal@brainofshawn.com — I’ll know it’s for the cow, because I’ve never used my paypal account for anything else.

How cool would it be if we actually raised enough to buy a cow?