I don’t go to the beach. It’s not so much the sand in the butt, sun in the eyes, smell of dead fish, and ghostly white flesh (mine) that keeps me away. I don’t go to the beach, because I don’t want to have my eyes wander to women of the non-wifely persuasion. Call me old fashioned, but I really don’t want to oogle other women. Since I’m a man, if I go to the beach, I most likely will oogle other women — so I really prefer to stay home. Or in the air-conditioned van, reading a book.
Now that you think I’m either really sweet, or possibly gay, let me tell you the reason for this post. I went to WalMart (which I despise, but that’s another story) yesterday to buy Easter dresses for the girls. Actually, Donna did the dress picking, and I bought a turkey. No, I don’t like buying turkey, but hey, look at my options here. Anyway, after I picked the turkey, which took much less time than picking 3 dresses, I went back to the little girls clothes section. I wandered around, looking as manly as I could, and found some shorts that should never have been created. They were daisy dukes. Yep, just like from every 13 year old boy from the 80’s fantasy, Daisy Duke shorts. IN THE GIRL’S SECTION. What kind of sick, twisted individual designs shorts that show off a 10 year old girl’s butt? I was beside myself, and still am to be honest.
Did you know that in the Dukes of Hazzard, Daisy had to wear nylons with her shorts, because that much bare leg was deemed inappropriate? I never thought Daisy Duke would be a model for modesty, but apparently so.
So here’s my plea: for Pete’s sake, PLEASE don’t buy your 10 year old daughter short shorts. It’s just wrong, man.