OK, so here’s the deal: I’m currently claiming more than my fair share of matter in the universe. I’ve had this struggle before, and it’s usually due to stress at work. (Well, ok, it’s indirectly due to stress at work, it’s actually due to eating lots of food and being a lazy SOB) It’s not that I’m terribly vain, and need to look like an Olympic swimmer to impress my wife, but I still need to lose weight. Here’s why:
- My wife deserves to have a man that looks good. This is largely because she is way out of my league, and she loves me anyway. That’s the kind of woman that you want to look good for.
- My heart tends to not like me a whole lot. It insists that if I’m even slightly overweight, that I must want my blood pressure to be dangerously high. No amount of fatty foods and couch sitting can convince it otherwise. I’ve tried.
- I kinda want to be alive. Ya know, not dead and stuff. I don’t have the luxury of being mildly overweight and remaining relatively healthy. My body, my blood pumper specifically, has very strict guidelines under which it agrees to keep me alive for the long haul. This, by the way, sucks.
SO, if you see me walking down the street eating a cupcake, slap it out of my hand. Actually, most of you live quite a ways away from me, so if you see me walking down the street, it likely means I’m stalking you. Call the police.
That said, if I seem particularly grumpy in the near future — it’s not anything you’ve done. Except that you haven’t fed me. And that’s a good thing. Anyway, wish me luck. I need to lose about 25-30 pounds.
(Oh, and those of you thinking I look a nice healthy weight in my videos and such — you’re very kind, but unfortunately, I carry my weight well. Very few people guess that I’m pushing 200 pounds, but in fact, I am.)