Gender Nonspecific Names

I think I’d like to make a rule banning all gender non-specific names. Yes, that includes my own. All those Robins, Shawns, Pats, Terrys, Jerrys, Sams, Jesses, Stevies, Coreys, Jordans, Leslies, Taylors, Erins, and Billys just need to change to something like JOHN. Or JULIE. Ugh.

In the cheesy video spoof I just posted about, I mention another Linux Journal reviewer, Jes Hall. For some reason, my brain assumed Jes was a man. She would disagree. The dumb part is that my own SISTER is named Jes, and I STILL never made the correct assumption.

If you were looking for proof of my ineptitude, look no further.

(And yes, I sent her an apology, but it doesn’t make me any less of a goon)

14 Comments

  1. Jim Wright says:

    When I become Ultimate Emperor of the Universe, I’ll be sure to implement this rule. Just for you, Shawn.

  2. Shawn says:

    Thanks man. I’ll makes sure to keep Your Royal Highness’ email server running, so that the memo gets out.

    And thankfully, “Jim” is pretty specific.

  3. Jim Wright says:

    As far as you know. I could be a 14 year-old girl…

  4. Carlie Fairchild says:

    I got mail today to Mr. Charlie Fairchild. So don’t feel too bad…

  5. Shawn says:

    Nah, a 14 year old wouldn’t have the patience to make the bowls. And usually it’s the OTHER way around. Full grown men pretending to be the 14 year old girl.

  6. Shawn says:

    Carlie: Yeah, but *I* probably sent it… (just kidding, it’s never good to scorn your publisher…)

  7. Tania says:

    Shawn, don’t forget rule # 2 – don’t name your kid Cletus Beauregard Jones III because you want to honor a family tradition. Just don’t. Especially when Cletus Beauregard Jones III grows up to be a responsible adult, while Cletus Beauregard Jones II has a mid-life crisis, runs out on debts, gets involved in some shady dealings, gets sued, etc. Consider the confusion anywhere you have patient/client records. Cletus III will end up spending a stupid amount of time explaining that he is not Cletus II, getting leins removed from his property, fielding phone calls from people who refuse to believe that he is not Cletus III, and on on. Save the youngun some trouble, and name him Jack Cletus Jones.

  8. Shawn says:

    Or you can just invoke the family wrath, and name them independent of family labels. Yours, however, sounds like a voice of experience. Tania III? :)

  9. Janiece says:

    So from now on we’ll just call you “John?”

  10. Tania says:

    The spouse, the spouse is IV. It’s a PITA, dealing with the all garbage from his dad. All the time.

    We joke about legally changing his name to Zbigneiw, but still call him John. Yes, John is the real name of the spouse.

    Now, on Shawn’s original topic — Remember the SNL skit with “It’s Pat”? More of the same problems!

  11. Camron says:

    On my 18th birthday, I got a letter telling me my days were numbered. I wrote a cute little note explaining to the NSA that I was not a boy. I mentioned that I would be happy to sign up, when the archaic laws were changed. They never called me back.

    I also volunteeed. I received a pat on my head…

  12. Anne C. says:

    At my office, a Jamie married a Jessie. Bride and groom could have been either!

  13. Watch who you’re callin’ “Stevie.” Only three people can call me that. My grandma (rest her soul), my wife (yeah, like she listens to anything I say) and my sister-in-law (but that’s because I get to call her Barbie).

  14. Jeri says:

    I am a Jeri. I work with a Jerry rather closely. We’ve decided that whoever calls the meeting gets to use their name – the other has to use something else – last name, initials, whatever.

    But, then, I’m used to it. My dad was a Gerry. Two cousins were Jerry and Jeri. And… to add insult to injury… I foolishly married a first husband named Jerry. (Bad idea on many levels.)

    But yes, I agree on the non-gender specific names. I used to want a more feminine name. Doesn’t have to be foo-foo, just — unabiguously feminine. But I’m used to it now.

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