See, anyone can maim themselves with razor sharp objects. It takes a real man to do it with a yummy malt.
The Yummy Malt Maiming of 2009
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Dude,
We can totally see that the cup is empty…so it’s the straw you claim to have been injured by (not the yummy malt), but do we see any actual vitreous humours running down your cheek? No. I think not.
Do it better!
Actually Nathan — the cup is full, and there is malt all over. I’m pretty sure only poo poo heads can’t see the malt. You’re not a poo poo head, are you Nathan?
You do realize that I have to kill you now, don’t you?
ROFLMAO
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Well, that is a skill. Not very marketable, but a skill nonetheless.
Oh no! Does that mean I have to be ever vigilant against my beloved Whoppers and chocolate malted crunch ice cream? Is malt out to take down the entire human race?
Noooooo!
(Also, what Nathan said about the straw. It’s easy to main yourself with a plastic straw, but what about the invisible malt inside the cup?)
How did I miss this???
And how do I explain why I was hysterically laughing to my coworker who came in and watched the end of it.