I’m a Mega Roll Man

I'd have a really hard time sitting on a toilet that small...Chances are, you use toilet paper. We may have different techniques when it comes to the use of it (and no, I don’t want to discuss technique, eiw) but we’re all probably familiar with the usage and purchasing of the product.

I’m a Mega Roll man.

Don’t get me wrong, I always read the sheet count on the claims of “just as much TP as 3 regular rolls!” But when it comes down to it, I’d rather buy 8 mega rolls over 24 regular rolls any day. I’ll admit, it takes some mental training, because it seems like you’re buying much less toilet paper. If you can get past the deceptive multi-roll economy size look, the mega roll is king. For several reasons:

1) Yes, it’s more environmentally friendly. Not as much as you’d think, but I suppose a couple cardboard tubes and a little more plastic wrap does add up.

2) It takes up less cupboard space. Granted, we have a lot of cupboards in our house, but filling that space with rolls that don’t make it a single day is just wasteful. And that leads to my big reason for being a Mega Roll Man:

3) You get stranded MUCH less often. If your rolls last 3 times as long, there are that many fewer opportunities for poor planning that result in “butt ring” while you wait for someone to hear you hollering. And I KNOW we’ve all been stranded alone at least once, which is even worse. (I’m also not looking for best practice tips when retrieving TP while pants-ankled)

So for me, it’s Mega Rolls every time. Now wipe that smirk off your face and fess up to your sheet count. 😀

14 thoughts on “I’m a Mega Roll Man

  1. This thread is now about technique GO. Just kidding that would be gross.

    I never get TP stranded I have an if then statement memorized about TP. If bathroom has less than 4 rolls then buy more.
    Four rolls is plenty for two people but I’m paranoid and hate running low on things like that.

  2. I keep a four roll pack in a closet not in the bath room just in case I should ever run out.
    I have many rolls under the bathroom sink, this is where I keep my supply of TP. They are just out of the comfort reach zone if you should run out so…
    I have a container that holds 3 rolls well in reach of the toilet (in case you run out of “THE ROLL”. Heaven help the person who uses that 3rd roll and doesn’t fill up the container.

  3. I buy the gigantic package bundles from Sam’s Club. Whatever’s cheapest while still being double-ply. I think they’re megarolls but I’m not sure.

    I keep the gigantic package bundles in my storeroom closet, and then put individual packages in each bathroom. It’s time to replenish from the storeroom when there are only two full rolls left in the bathroom, and time to get more gigantic bundles when I’m down to the last package in the storeroom.

    I live alone, you see. Stranding is a serious situation. o.O

    Incidentally, kleenex makes a good alternative to TP in an emergency.

    I do the same thing with paper towels and the kitchen.

  4. I do the same thing with paper towels and the kitchen.

    Wait. Are we talking about storage procedures, or… other procedures? Because I may make a note to never visit your kitchen if the latter…

    😀

  5. I’m sorry. Just can’t do it. Must. Make. Comment. Related. To. Technique.

    This is really aimed at the designers of toilets. You should never design a toilet where the act of reaching might bring the wiper’s hand in contact with the water…or anything else.

    Hey, even without the technique issues, I want plenty of clearance between the water and my dangly bits.

    Sorry. It had to be said. And better here than on my site. Who knows what kinda whacko search hits you’re gonna get now?

    😀

  6. eeewwwwww. :p

    Storage, you ninny!

    Actually, the paper towel protocol is more casual. It’s not like there’s any stranding involved if I run out. So I only keep one new one under the sink at a time.

  7. Running out isn’t such a problem in this house since I discovered wet wipes are mom-and-dad friendly. My kids may grow up, move out, and start families of their own, but my bathroom will never be without wet wipes again.

    Mega rolls rock, tho. Definitely.

  8. I ought to start keeping a roll of really really cheap rough paper towel in the bathroom.
    Just in case someone uses the last roll of TP without getting more.

    They will be punished!

  9. We are a double roll family, not mega roll (and yes, the stuff at Costco) because the mega rolls don’t fit on toilet paper holders.

    For the rest? Ewww.

  10. Toilet paper is stored in the bathroom (each bathroom has its on storage place). When the roll looks like it’s getting low, I pull a roll out of the cabinet and place it in the basket behind the toilet (there are multiple baskets that can sit on the back of the toilet. One always contains book. One alternates between random stuff and girly stuff.)

    As I do the shopping, running out of TP will not happen.

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