Washing Out Your Brain

No, this actually looks more normal than actually using the device I bought.Have you ever heard of “Neti Pots” ? Apparently Oprah told the world how awesome they are, and now doctors are recommending them. Last week when I went to urgent care about a headache, sure enough the guy suggested I use a “Neti Pot” type thing. Actually, he suggested the Binford 2000 variety that uses a squeeze bottle, but the concept is the same.

Squirt salt water up one nostril, let it circulate in your cranium, and then drain out the other side.

It’s one of the strangest pseudo-medical things I’ve ever done. It feels about as exciting as it sounds. I don’t think it does anything useful, but there are a few interesting side effects:

  1. You can feel your sinuses fill with water. It’s a little like getting a snoot full of pool water on accident, but without the chlorine
  2. If your nose is slightly stuffy, the pressure induced by the squeeze bottle will do many interesting things to your eyes and ears. Namely, make them uncomfortable.
  3. You look and feel like a complete idiot, and the logic of sinus squirting rivals that of snipe hunting. Apparently it’s a real thing though. I guess.
  4. The most interesting side effect however, is that minutes, hours, or even days later, a gush of trapped water will work its way out and and effectively spew soggy nose goblins all over the table/computer/dinnerplate/date you are sitting near. You will have no warning, and no chance of stopping the flow.

Thanks a ton, Oprah.

4 thoughts on “Washing Out Your Brain

  1. There are so many things I would like to say about this, but most of them would probably get me into trouble….

    Oh, well, I had a good laugh, anyway. Thanks, Shawn, and have a “safe and sane” 4th!

  2. Okay, I’m a fan, I admit it. When my allergies are at their peak, that squeeze bottle is probably the only thing that saves me from demanding my very own oxygen bubble to live in.

    A few tips, don’t squeeze too hard. If you are making your eyes/ears feel weird, you are doing it wrong.

    Okay, I’m just going to say it… blow your nose before AND after you use it. Most of the gunk will come out.

    Make sure you are using lukewarm water, otherwise it’s uncomfortable and makes me want to cry.

    Try it every morning for a week, that way you adjust to it more.

    Yes, you look ridiculous when you use it (and Tom leaves the room, I think it ooges him out), but you already look ridiculous most of the time, so… *laugh*

  3. Y’know, I hate the swimming pool sensation too, but it does help me when I have a cold or allergies or sinus issues. (In fact, I should get mine out now…)

    I use the neti pot. Not a favorite thing to do, but hey – if it works!

  4. Shane, this post is hilarious!

    My wife always suggests this when I have a cold EVEN THOUGH I have zero proof that she’s ever done it. 🙂 That combined with my fear of drowning means this dude ain’t touching a neti pot!

    That’s why God invented (or did he just create it out of nothing) Sudafed!

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